Susan goes to England

Correction

2012-03-12T02:36:00.000-07:00

I have not actually being driving at 20 to 30 miles an hour. That would be the rev counter. Who knew?

Mad in Cambridge

2012-03-12T02:34:00.001-07:00

Got to say, this is the most original busker I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot in London!
Apparently , he has been in this dustbin for years....at one stage the students had to be asked not to put smoke bombs in his bin (very mean, actually...why would they do that?? )
I laughed all the way down the street, and yes, I did give him some money.

Reading Group

2012-03-08T07:50:00.000-08:00

Today was my second reading group.
Again, a bit like school.
Our new book is To Kill A Mocking Bird.
Fine, I will read it again.
The woman who runs the group is very Teacher Teacher. I found myself wanting to please her.
Only two other people there, so this may not turn out to be a great source for making friends.
Still and all, quite enjoyable.
Next week I start ZUMBA!
Actually have only a vague idea what this is about, and am somewhat worried seeing as I have next to no co ordination and I know it involves some dancing.
Also, it is an 'over fifties ZUMBA'
Whereas I do know that I am officially over fifty, this troubles me on many levels.
Apart from the fact that The Reading Group did not hesitate to suggest it to me, and that the young guy at the ZUMBA Center did not even question for a second which group I may like to join.
Old age is a bitch.
At least no-one asked me if I would like to join the Tea Dances.

Driving in the Uk

2012-03-08T07:31:00.001-08:00

How very cute is this? I want eyelashes for my car!

Yes, indeed , I have a car..known as the Wee Silver Bullet.

Today, for the first time ever, I drove using the SatNav.

(In South Africa I always knew where I was going, in London, there was never a need for a car.)

It took me less than 4 minutes to get to a place that had previously taken me just short of an hour to get to on the bus (2 buses actually)

So...wayyyyy early...I did look it up on google maps, but was somewhat disbelieving when they said 6 minutes.

My nerves!

First of all , the robots (traffic lights for non Saffas) are on the OTHER side of the road, not on the side where you stop. To add to this confusion, not all of them are like this.

Then there was a traffic light thing where there were 2 lights , at the same place...one was red, and one had a green arrow. Both facing me.

I panicked and the car behind me HOOTED.

Oh peep up your arse.

THEN, the traffic lights go orange before red, but then again orange before they go green.

The circles (roundabouts) , some of them are like fecking mountains..you can't see over them..other ones are a barely discernible bump in the road.

And don't even get me started on bus lanes and bicycle lanes and cyclists!

All a learning curve...and I am loving having a car.

I have not yet put petrol in the car. I don't intend to. I am going to run it almost dry until Saturday and then make The Hubby do it.

Seeing as apart from a brief foray into driving when we were in Cornwall, I have not driven for 3 years...I am taking it carefully.

I do not know what 20 miles an hour is, but this is the speed at which I travel.

Well...20 to 30.

The SatNav throws me into a total panic by saying "in 1050 feet, turn left"

There must be a way of making her go metric, stupid bitch.

Going to a large supermarket parking it is a good idea to know what your car looks like, or what the registration is.

Or, indeed, just remember where you park, which is working for me so far.

If I can get the eyelashes for The Wee Silver Bullet, it will be easier for me to find it.

Next week I am going to venture further afield.

Gardening...

2012-03-06T13:28:00.001-08:00

These are my newly purchased (Tesco, £12) gardening wellies.
The whole of the Uk got into a panic 2 weeks ago in case there was going to be a drought.
This was because it had not rained for about 2 days...Hosepipe Ban! Panic Panic!!
Anyway, it rained. Big Surprise.
So, if I am going to do some more gardening (if it ever gets warm enough for me to want to..) I now am equipped.
Bare feet do not work so well in March. This I have discovered.

Eating words

2012-03-06T05:26:00.001-08:00

Yup. Not spring.In fact it snowed at the weekend and is 3C today.So The Hubby was right again.I almost went up into the loft and got the summer clothes out.The Loft is amazing. It is fitted out with cupboards , desks, and lots of storage place.Unfortunately it can only be accessed by pulling down a fold up ladder using a stick thing. Due to my propensity for breaking ankles, I am forbidden from going to The Loft while Home Alone.

Friend overture...

2012-03-01T10:53:00.001-08:00

Somebody actually spoke to me today.She said "Do you watch Coronation Street?"The answer is "no"Even though I did not add that I have never ever actually seen even one episode of Coronation Street, the conversation was over.Apparently there was someone in the room that looked like one of the CS actors.So, not a new friend there......

Technology....

2012-03-01T10:48:00.001-08:00

The egg hunt trip was somewhat beset with errors....The Hubby had business in Chalfont St Giles, so we parted there, found out ten minutes later that my camera had no battery life left, and also, my sd card was at home in my wee pee cee. No worries, I had my iPad.On 16% battery.No worries, I had my phone.....om zero% battery.Fabulous.I had to buy an emergency charger (£20) to charge my phone so that The Hubby could phone me and so that we could actually find each other in amongst the million billion people that inhabit London.Took the photos of the eggs on the iPad till that ran out......Had to listen to a lecture from The Hubby who ALWAYS charges his phone/tablet/cameraSmarty Pants

Eggscellent Idea!

2012-02-26T07:56:00.000-08:00

The Where's Wally Egg...this one moves around...I found it in Selfridges

Remember the Ellies? The great Ellie Hunt?
This year it's the Eggs.
Much harder, they are smaller and well hidden...200 of them, all over London.
Of course, now that I no longer live in London, and live out in the sticks, it is harder to find all the eggs. Nonetheless, on a rainy day trip, I did quite well.

This is an electronic egg...I made some rude remarks about it not being a real egg...sadly, the designer was standing behind me.
Still and all, quite clever, see my facebook pic on the egg? I managed this all by myself.Scanning and connecting and goodness knows how, but there I am!

Rainy....this one was just off Leicester Square

Spring?

2012-02-21T02:27:00.001-08:00

Was very excited today.When the alarm went off at 7, it was light and bright...and warm!I said " Winter is over!"The Hubby reminded me that I say this every year.But, indeed, it is a lovely day, and we are going to get into double figures.Yes! Amazingly, it will be 11C today!So, after Mr Grumpy went to work , I stood outside ( jeans, t shirt, bare feet) and contemplated doing some gardening today.Perhaps winter is not actually over, but I do think that the very worst of winter is over.I am not going to get the summer wardrobe out yet.I am going to put the poofy womble jacket away. I hope I am not going to have to eat these words!

Valentine's Day Accessory

2012-02-16T09:51:00.001-08:00

As it happened,I got a call from the doctor saying there had been a cancellation....This meant that, Joy oh Joy, I was next in line for the 24 hour blood pressure monitor.So, for the whole of Valentines Day (and night) I wore an alarmingly large appliance consisting of boxes and wires and a arm thingy, that took my blood pressure every hour, accompanied by strange hissing and beeping noises.Amusing, on the bus.Not so amusing every hour throughout the night.Also, not awfully romantic.Also, could not bath or shower (obviously) during this period.The NHS does not hand out blood pressure tablets willy nilly!Nonetheless , we had a lovely Valentine's Day meal (cooked by me) and The Hubby , despite my previous post, came home laden down with flowers, chocolates and teddy bears.Amused The Gorgeous Son no end when he came to visit during the 24 hours and had to go out with a mother with an inflating arm......

Valentines day

2012-02-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

What can I give to The Hubby on Valentine's Day? I think we are over cards and flowers.We are over Romantic Weekends Away.We are over a lot of Valentine stuff, but , even after all these years, we are not over love.There is not much I can do, and indeed, The Hubby probably won't read this blog post , but I would like to tell my almost eleven thousand readers that Love, indeed , does exist.So, tomorrow, when I don't have a Valentine's Day Card , or present for The Hubby, I don't think it matters.We will wake up, say "Happy Valentine's Day", kiss, cuddle, say "I love you" What could ever be better than that?

sunglasses

2012-02-10T04:10:00.000-08:00

and , yes, in case anyone wants to comment on the post, I do have that many pairs of sunglasses.
And , yes, it is necessary.
And, actually, I have another 2 pairs that are not in this picture.

Entrance Hall

2012-02-10T04:04:00.000-08:00

In Surbiton , we didn't have an entrance hall, straight off the street into the lounge.
Here, we have a wee entrance hall.
Very Useful.
As you can see...place for the bike helmet, shoes, scarves, gloves and sunglasses.
Also, pile of post for previous tenants.
Nice place to stomp the snow off your shoes.

Cambridge News

2012-02-09T06:37:00.000-08:00

Most exciting day!
I went for my very first 'Reading Group ' at the local Library.
Sadly, unbeknownst to me, it had actually been cancelled, but also , thankfully, this fact was also unbeknowst to 2 other people.
The book we read was 'The Grapes of Wrath'
Dear lord what a depressing book. I know that I should have read this book already, but do bear in mind it was banned in South Africa during the years that one would normally read this type of book.
I have a wonderful book, given to me by my Lovely Hey She Wow Friend, it is entitled 'One Hundred Great Books In Haiku'

Grapes of Wrath

Okie Exodus
Ma Joad's fambly keeps movin'
Where are the darned grapes?

Indeed, that about sums it up.

Anyway, reading group was good, and I look forward to the next time, with full attendance. Maybe this will be as nice a group as the Greenwich one.

Were interrupted by slightly odd woman (with beard) who seems to be a local eccentric.
She is terribly awfully well spoken, and as mad as a hatter.

Living out here in the sticks is getting interesting.

No more laundromat!

2012-02-07T13:57:00.001-08:00

Fabulous! I now have a brand new washing machine (thank you New Landlord Clive)
It has a 'shirt' cycle...very cool.
Also, worryingly, a 'baby' cycleNever mind...don't have one of those.
Seeing as I now am able to wash at home, I have spent the last few days washing and ironing.
The spare room is now the ironing room.Or the 'i ' room.In which I have my i pad and my i ron.Ha ha ha...very funny, but cannot take the credit..this was Amiga Jane's joke.
Anyway, I have been watching " Call the midwife" as I have been ironing, it is a fabulous programme.
Watched "The Exit list " tonight, dear lord, my nerves...it is a quiz show with a twist, amazing, but awfully stressful.Nonetheless, as the day grows to a close, The Hubby and I retire to bed, electric blanket on, hundred million tog duvet over us, and we listen to a podcast on my i touch, one earbud of the headphones each...how very sweet is that?

February snow!

2012-02-03T06:43:00.001-08:00

Winter in Caribou Street

I still get so excited about snow!
This was our street this morning as I went to go and buy the Sunday papers! Too lovely for words, and not too cold

Hope this defrosts for summer

Not even going to consider riding in the snow!

If I get chilblains now, I have only myself to blame, but there is something wonderful about bare feet in snow.

Rules for bikes

2012-02-03T05:56:00.001-08:00

Things not to do on your bike.

Look at your watch
Wave at the postman
Try to adjust your scarf
Have too much shopping in your basket
Overconfidence at returning to your home driveway , resulting in crashing into the wheelie bins.

I have not fallen off yet, but it has been a close run thing.

DANGERS:

Pedestrians with iPods
Children on bikes
Bollards
Roadworks
Older people who suddenly make sweeping gestures with their arms
Dogs
Birds
Dog poo
Ice patches
Buggies (prams for the Saffas)
Bus stops (suddenly the cycle track disappears )
Cold wind freezing your fingers
The fact that you are actually not that fit and are knackered after a ten minute cycle to the library

Fashion alerts

I could have bought a "hair met" which was specially designed for men who gel their hairBut no need actually seeing as my hair is kak anyway, thank you Jamie for the kak haircut that cost me fifty quid.

Sunglasses, as always, am the only person in the UK wearing them, but on a bike, it stops your eyes watering from the cold.

Big warm puffa jacket that makes you look like a womble on a bike.

This bike thing is more complicated than I thought.

Moaning Minnie

2012-02-01T05:19:00.000-08:00

OK, I am going to stop moaning and bitching about Cambridge now.
I am sure it is a very nice place with very nice people.

Here is my list of things to be happy about.

1) The Hubby comes home every day instead of commuting to Dublin
2) I have 2 more rooms in the house that I didn't have in Surbiton
3) I have a garage and a loft
4) I have a bike

And here is my list of things to moan about

1) The Hubby comes home every day instead of commuting to Dublin.
2) I have 2 more rooms to clean. Also, they are stupid rooms..ie conservatory and
spare room that is now the Ironing Room
3) I have never been so far away from The Gorgeous Son and I hate it.
4) There are no squirrels and even the birds hate me
5) My blood pressure is a hundred million over a thousand so I am probably going to drop dead any minute..............aaarrgghhh.................clunk.

Secluded...excluded

2012-01-31T13:23:00.001-08:00

I was so excited to maybe be involved and meet Cambridge people...ha!
Not so much.
This may be partly my fault seeing as I don't have a car yet.
I discovered that buses to villages do not run on a Sunday, that a taxi would cost almost £60, a hire car about £45..bit OTT for an £18 tea party.
So, I missed the tea party .
I was upset all out of proportion by this.

Never mind.
I will soon have a car.
Will I ever meet The Village People?Fuck these Village People. I want to go back to London.Am actually not liking Cambridge .

Gastro Tour

2012-01-31T11:57:00.000-08:00

Fabulous Gastro Tour in Marylebone.
good company, 5 couples, all really nice. Of course we did have a start seeing as one of the couples was Amiga Jane and Hubby .
And the other couple was us. So, 3 other couples, who were really nice.
The guide on our tour, lets call her Cookie Wittering-Twit....totally D list celeb (none of us had ever heard of her)

So, Cookie Wittering-Twit had no idea how to run a Gastro Tour.

The fact that we still had an amazing time was all down to the good company. We could have done the tour all by ourselves and still done just as well.
Without paying £50 pp to Cookie Wittering -Twit.
Apparently she has a TV show and writes cookbooks and all?
At the Japanese knife demo, she had never heard of a razor strop. Also, she seemed to be a big fan of 'when in doubt, make it up' Unfortunately for her, she had a very sophisticated and knowledgeable audience. (not just me!)
She was somewhat hampered by the fact that one of our party was a senior exec at Cadburys (chocolate part of the tour) and that 4 of our party were fluent in Spanish (tapas part of the tour)
Almost felt sorry for her at the end!
We left Cambridge at 1, did the tour, had supper, back at home before 10pm. So, travelling to London is a doddle. I may do it every day. I miss London. I am not loving living out here in the sticks.

Lordy!

2012-01-30T13:55:00.000-08:00

Can you just imagine?
Bleh!
Yuk!

Bike Action Shots..

2012-01-29T09:04:00.000-08:00

Woo Hoo! Look at me!

Probably, you can tell that I am not an expert on a bike.

Note to concerned family members...these pics were taken in our cul de sac which is why I am not wearing The Helmet.

Wildlife?.

2012-01-26T14:38:00.001-08:00

As Lovely Wife Jo from Surbiton has just reminded me, in case I get too happily settled in Cambridge...there are no squirrels here. And, indeed , there are none. And no foxes. And the birds are worse than stupid. I have put out birdseed which they have just ignored. Bloody ingratitude.So far there has been a total of 3 birds, one of which flew into the upstairs study window, the other two seem to fight all day and make an annoying noise and crap on the patio.Country? How is this the bloody country? There was more wildlife in London.Across the road from me, an unknown neighbour has a duck.It is the most exotic wildlife I have seen since I got here.On my way to the shops I say hello to it.Is the most exciting conversation I have all day.Quack quack

Mr Meat Delivery

2012-01-26T12:59:00.000-08:00

Amazing...this was my meat order, sent from London to Cambridge, courier, no delivery charges...and this is how it was packed...dry ice, and woolly blankets...all this for a less than £50 order...

Ox Kidney- 325g  x 1
Gammon Steak- Pack(1) ... x 1
Lamb Shank- 500g  x 2
Silverside S...- Pack(2)  x 1
Ox Liver- 325g  x 1
Chicken- Small Peking x 1
Sausages- 1000g Pork &... x 1
Black Pudding- Pack(2)  x 1
Sausages- 1000g Cracke... x 1

Subtotal:  £48.48
Del Costs:  £0.00
Est Total:  £48.48

Lots of sausages because they are amazing sausages...Also, I thought this would be my last order seeing as I have moved..but apparently, no...they are quite happy to courier my orders at no extra cost. All this is organic Orkney meat, the type of produce that is tucked into bed at night with a bedtime story...the type of produce that Darling Simon would totally approve of. Result is I have a million sausages....ah well!!

For my UK blogger followers, Farmers Choice.
For my Saffa Followers...no idea how this compares to Saffa prices....

Travels..

2012-01-26T08:56:00.001-08:00

Had my first outing on The Bike today! Bit wobbly, bit nervous seeing as my last experience on a bike in Amsterdam ended in a fall involving a bench and a ditch, with The Hubby laughing so much he nearly choked to death at the sight of my legs waving in the air.But, all was fine,next time I will wear gloves as my hands froze.I have to remember to always watch the road as if I look anywhere else, I tend to steer in that direction.Luckily, this being Cambridge, there are cycle tracks everywhere. My only complaint is that they seem a bit narrow. Sure I will get used to it, but for now, another cyclist, a pedestrian or a dog approaching puts me in a panic. On the way home from my second trip out, I felt quite cool actually, and very "in" with the Cambridge crowd.For those of you who cycle all the time, this may seem a tad pathetic, but it is a START for me.So, I have The Bike. I have The Basket. I have the library card that allows me to go to ANY library in the whole of Cambridge. Next week I will get The Card that allows me free access to all the colleges (being a resident)All that is left is for me to see Stephen Hawkins and Simon Baron-Cohen and my Cambridge experience will be complete!Oh, and punt on the river of course, but that can wait till summer.If The Hubby says ONCE more that Cambridge stand on the wrong end of the punt, I may have to commit GBH.He is an Oxford Grad.

Amazing!

2012-01-24T03:44:00.000-08:00

Just look at this! I am so impressed.
The Hubby and I don't drink milk at all, so never have any in the house. Even if I buy long life milk (UHT or whatever they call it here), we only use as much as a visitor needs for coffee or tea. I have thrown away GALLONS of milk.
Dr Lauren drinks no milk either, but The Gorgeous Son has it in his coffee. We go through an elaborate sniffing and inspecting sell by dates whenever he has coffee.
But now! Problem solved!

New House

2012-01-24T03:29:00.000-08:00

As requested, some pics of the new house, we seem to be more or less organised now, just need a new light fitting in the lounge, the current one is really crap. The Hubby did try to put the new one in, bless him, but it involved me standing holding the light fitting looking like the Statue of Liberty, while he stood on the coffee table and flung tools around and swore a lot. We are calling in an electrician.

The Hubby's study comes in 2 parts, he has this small room upstairs, and then another study in the loft aka Mission Control , where the serious computer system is installed!

This is my study aka the conservatory.

The bed truly only just fits in this bedroom! There is however, a really good cupboard.

The landing, (top of the stairs for Saffas!)

Anniversary

2012-01-22T14:28:00.001-08:00

Whew! OK, start again.30 year anniversary is the year of the iPad. Never mind pearls...what would you rather have? So, as I was saying before I got distracted and annoyed by technology...And excuse all errors until I get the hang of this... Apple hates my blog...
The Hubby and I were not married in a church (obviously!)But, having said that, the vows (England, 15th century) are still true and valid.
For richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, honour, love, obey (ok, obey only in certain circumstances!)
The magistrate , when we got married, said that we had to say "I love you" at least once a week. We still do, usually at least once a day.
Compromise, compromise, and never ever take anything for granted, even after 30 years, it could change in a heartbeat...We are blessed with our wonderful children, our everlasting love...The Hubby is watching snooker downstairs as I type on my new iPad....ah!
Upstairs, downstairs...Isn't love wonderful!I love The Hubby.

Anniversary

2012-01-22T13:56:00.000-08:00

I wrote a long and very sweet and sentimental piece about love and marriage and anniversaries. Made 2 spelling errors, so tried to correct them. After half an hour of fucking around and getting annoyed, I no longer feel either loving or happy, so I will repost it tomorrow when I am in a better mood.
I know this is not in the loving spirit of being married for 30 years... but it seems that 30 minutes of computer incompetence can wipe all that out. Maybe I will take a deep breath and try again......

Ankleversary

2012-01-22T10:05:00.000-08:00

Let us not forget that last year this very same day was the day when I broke all my ankle bones.
Not such a fabulous anniversary then.
But...all healed now!
Scars...poo! Nothing!
Pain....absolutely minimal unless I am having a pathetic day.
Flashbacks...horrendous! I still walk down the stairs like a real old lady, Dr Lauren goes mad at me.
Poor Broken Ankle Man is having more operations on his ankle. I really truly do think of him every day , and will do until he is all healed.
Still and all...was not so bad spending the coldest month of the year in bed, with lots of drugs.

Anniversary

2012-01-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

Correcting this post , now on my wee pee cee...too hard to blog on the ipad! Some lessons I think.
So, yes, today is/was our anniversary!

Gardening

2012-01-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

The garden here is not too bad. At some stage, someone has made an effort . Not the last tenants....
Anyway, Gumtree to the rescue, and a lady gardener , who works for £10 an hour and did a clear up for me.
So now I can get into the garden and start to make it look nice.
The grass is a problem.
This sissy baby pom grass is mad.
You can't mow it, it would just be ripped out by the lawnmower.
If you stand on the grass, it gets flattened. There seems to be a lot of moss in the grass. This moss is yukky stuff. It grows into lumps which detach themselves and are like living entities. I can hardly bring myself to touch them.
What I need to do is COMB the lawn.
Arrange it into some semblance of order.
Or brush it with the kitchen brush.

Or just wait and see what happens when the sun comes out.
Nobody here has ever heard of kikuyu grass.

Weather update

2012-01-16T08:36:00.000-08:00

To be fair, I have not done a weather update for some time. It is quite cold...not bad...for example, today , at 2C I walked to the shops and was fine. There is no wind. Quite pleasant would be my assessment.
Not cold enough for the jacket I bought, which would keep anyone warm in totally arctic conditions.
But cold enough to use the 'wipe runny nose 'thing that is on the sleeve (disgusting, I know, but practical) and the sleeves inside the arms thing (which I love! So clever)
Frost on the ground. If it is going to be this cold , it may as well snow. That would be nice.

Conservatory

2012-01-16T08:30:00.000-08:00

I do not get this conservatory thing.
These are my problems

1) Windows
   They all have to be clean all the time or it just looks kak.
2) Cold
   It is bloody freezing in the conservatory. There is no central heating.
   There is a heater (electric, installed) which works very well, but as soon
   as the heater is switched off, it is back to freezing. Does not retain the heat
   as the house does. So that is dof.
3) When it is hot...what is the point of the conservatory? It's hot anyway.
4) I feel like a goldfish
5) There is no security, and everyone can see inside
6) It is not a lounge. It cannot be a TV lounge either. (too many windows.
   It is not a flipping sitting room . Why would you sit in a cold/hot room
   anyway?
7)I know it is nice and light and airy, but it is the same outside

I simply do not get it
So, our conservatory is my office. And a very nice office it is too.
Everyone in the UK seems to have a conservatory, so there must be some point to it. Perhaps I shall discover it soon.

Wildlife?

2012-01-11T14:28:00.000-08:00

I have just realised that there are no foxes either..so, no squirrels, no foxes, just some stupid birds.

Lovely Cambridge

2012-01-10T09:53:00.000-08:00

I realise that I have been slightly whingy and moany about Cambridge....

It truly is a beautiful city.
Has been a bit clouded up until now with the whole trauma of the move.
But, the house is almost done...and when I walk to the shops it is quite amazing to see green fields and parks all around.
There is a free magazine which was posted through my door this morning, with all that is going on in the city...so much to do, lots of literary events and theater, and all so cheap! Lordy! I did realise that London was expensive, of course, but it is good to see that we can go to a show here for £15.

Eating out is much cheaper, transport is cheaper, all in all, I think it is going to be lovely living here.

I have solved many storage problems , and am no longer tripping over ironing boards, Dysons, brooms and buckets....
OK, maybe it is not traditional to store the ironing board in the bedroom cupboard, but it works for me!

I have ordered online useful items of furniture, like blanket boxes, it is all a case of buying furniture in which you can hide stuff.
The TV stand will arrive on the 17th, and then the lounge will be done.
Oops...lounge , bad word here... then the Sitting Room will be done.
Apparently we do not 'lounge' , we 'sit'
Go figure

Watch this space, Dear Blogger Fans, soon I will stop moaning and will be loving Cambridge.

Neighbours..

2012-01-09T13:12:00.000-08:00

Actually not going so well...

When I did eventually meet Next Door Neighbour Victoria, I was weeding the front garden.
( I say garden..ha ha ha ha....small area of crap vegetation outside the front door)

I had removed all the leaves and so on from around the rose, so was bleeding profusely, which blood I had smeared all over my face. (whilst wiping the sweat off my forehead)

Also was covered in mud and dog poo.
Also had totally mad person hair and 3 day old clothes.

*sigh*

Rubbish Day

2012-01-09T13:06:00.000-08:00

Well , yes, a whole new recycling thing.
I now have The Green Bin (garden rubbish and food)
The Blue Bin (absolutely everything else)
The Black Bin ( stuff that doesn't go in The Blue Bin, god knows what that is because The Blue Bin takes everything from glass to plastic)
On top of The Blue Bin (as a type of inserted caddy, is The Black Thingy , into which you put paper)
If I want a Kitchen Caddy Bin, I have to go and fetch it from somewhere which I have not yet located.
No bags are involved here..everything is just smooshed into the bins. They are very large wheelie bins.
I have managed to get rid of an impressive amount of rubbish by arranging it in these bins.
I have thrown away an iron in The Black Bin, I know this is not correct and that I should take it to a WEEE place , but actually, I am quite fed up with moving and get over it already, will it kill the planet? Actually, just this week I do not care.

Dreaming Spires...

2012-01-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

You may think Cambridge is the city of dreaming spires and punts along the river...actually it is the city of a broken washing machine and a schlep on the bus carrying a massive plastic bag full of washing and having to spend the afternoon in a room full of properly mad people and getting looks from the laundromat person when I couldn't open the fecking machine and said that I had not used a laundromat since I was a student.
Seeing as I know no one and am not actually going anywhere, I am not bothered if I wear the same clothes every day until the landlord fixes the washing machine. I am already impressed enough by the fact that the rental has a washing machine, a tumble drier , a dishwasher and a fridge.
It is The Hubby.
He has to go to work, obviously, but believe me, he will never run out of shirts, he has thousands of them.
Ditto trousers and jerseys..I have no space in the wardrobe.
It is the undies.
He has 'summer undies' and 'winter undies'
god forbid he should be reduced to wearing 'summer undies' in winter.

I could, of course wash the washing at home...but then I would have to hang said washing all over the house on the radiators and it would take forever to dry. Bad enough we are not 100% organised in the Almost Acceptable house, and then I would have to look at 'winter undies' hanging in every room? I think not.

Missing....

2012-01-06T14:21:00.000-08:00

Missing Broken Ankle Man and Lovely Wife Jo... Missing Gay Charity Shop Man and The Worst Pub in The World and The Gorgeous Son and Dr Lauren....and Hoppy and Meisie, How am I ever going to be a Cambridge person?
I will have to buy a bicycle with a basket and learn to be a pretentious twat.
OK....not such a big step for me actually...

Cambridge Buses

2012-01-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

OMG so not like London!
There seems to be no oyster card system, so everybody pays to get on the bus.
In London, no bus driver will ever speak to you, he/she will certainly never give you change, or will tell you where your stop is...here...everyone has a big team chat with the driver, searches for their money, drops their wallet, can't find their bus pass...drives me nuts!
Thank goodness we are going to buy a car.
A car in London is a problem. Out in the country, it seems to be a necessity.

So far it is not going well . The Hubby wants to buy a big macho shithead SUV type thing..all I want is a golf type thing.
For now, walking and buses are the way I am going.
Also, people talk to you on the bus..scares me to death! I am used to Hardened Londoners that would only speak if the bus was on fire.
Nonetheless, I can now find my way around using the bus, also, the 500 mile walk thing is back in place. Took a walk to the local shop today, looked for a shortcut home that took me about 20 mins.
Still and all...walking is good for you.
Luckily the weather has improved.
I was fed up with house stuff today, so I did some garden tidy up stuff.
Pricked my fingers and hands on the roses, and knelt and stood in dog poo that was hidden by the long grass.
Have found a garden service on Gumtree.
The washing machine has a broken door , so the dog poo jeans are stinking up the laundry basket.
Wash them by hand I hear you say? No, perhaps not.
I have more important things to do.

Sad Squirrel story

2012-01-03T13:18:00.002-08:00

While I was doing the inventory thing, poor dear Meisie came into the garden, hopped right up to me.
I had tears in my eyes.
Have not yet seen a single squirrel in Cambridge.
I made the ex Landlord promise that he would ask prospective tenants if they liked squirrels.
I feel really sad :(
Maybe if there are ever squirrels here in Cambridge, I should not get over involved.
What will happen when Hoppy returns if and when it eventually gets cold here?
How is it possible to get so attached to a flipping squirrel??

Going back..

2012-01-03T13:18:00.000-08:00

Had to go back to Surbiton today to do the rental inventory check out.
2 and a half hours!
That fuckwit estate agent is the most anal person I have ever met. Nice, she is really strangely nice, but she actually STUCK HER HEAD in the oven, which I had cleaned like I have never cleaned an oven before...and with her upside down head , with the oven light switched on, she declared there was some 'baked in grease'
It was downhill from there , as you can imagine. She even inventoried the bloody garden.
Luckily, our (now ex) Landlord is a sweetie pie and even he was rolling his eyes at one stage.
The new landlord, bless him, is so casual that an incoming inventory only consisted of telling The Hubby where the gas and electric reading meter things are.
So, basically have lost a whole day of unpacking.
Am knackered now .
Am watching a programme about a 74 stone woman who squashed her nephew to death.
Yes, I know.

Moving

2011-12-31T13:47:00.000-08:00

Well, yes, Xmas and good will and all that, blown out of the water come moving time.

Got back 27th, moved 30th.

Cedric the Asshole Mover, who had assured me that his stupid Luton truck
(WTF is that anyway?) could move a 3 bedroomed house...
Apparently, me, with my 2 bedroomed, one is a study, so actually only one bed house, has more furniture than an average 3 bedroomed house.
This is despite the fact that I have no white goods.

So, lucky for me, The Gorgeous Son was able , at the last minute to hire another van to take the remainder of the goods. Lucky for us, seeing as Cedric the Asshole Mover would have done another trip for £150 .

Imagine the scene, we have The Hubby, who is already in catatonic shock , as this is the first move in which he has ever been involved, we have Dr Lauren in bossy mode, The New Girlfriend, The Gorgeous Son, Darling Simon, Lindsay Loo, Broken Ankle Man, Cedric the Asshole Mover, Stoyan the Bulgarian Carpet Cleaner, Clive the New Landlord, John the Old Landlord (and his dad) , Charlotte the New Estate Agent, Ann the Inventory Clerk.

The Hubby and Darling Simon in the van with Asshole Cedric, Dr Lauren and Lindsay Loo on the train, The Gorgeous Son and The New Girlfriend in the extra van...me on my hands and knees being the ousie for hours afterwards and then training it up to Cambridge...
Rained and rained and rained.

I am in Cambridge now.
Has stopped raining.

The Acceptable house is acceptable (actually has a fabulous fitted loft with cupboards and extra storage that the fuckwit agent neglected to mention, so has been a wonderful surprise)

All the family were absolutely amazing and had unpacked half the household by the time I got there.
May I never ever say a negative word against any of them on this blog ever again.
I love them all very very much
We may be moving again in the next year.
Did I say how much I love them???

Xmas and New Year

2011-12-31T13:20:00.000-08:00

Xmas at Butley Mills again....Fabulous again, with Dr Lauren's organisational skills...
Same creepy scarecrow in the fields, is actually a famous sculpture...
http://www.laurenceedwardssculpture.com/

Shows how much I know!

Looked at it in a different light..... famous sculpture....still creepy.

Xmas was amazing. It was so bloody HOT! Spent all the time opening windows and doors, we all wore T shirts, I don't think I wore shoes at all.

When I say hot, all is relative, but it was 15C and over, and will be the same again for New Years, apart from the days inbetween when we moved and it rained and was freezing cold.

I digress...back to Xmas.

There were 18 of us, from the Aged Grandparents (92)down to The Gorgeous Son
(25)
From in laws to out laws, from step parents to step siblings, to Grand Cat India...significant others...we had it all covered. Ex husbands and ex wives....we all had Xmas together, and that's what it's about.
It was good.

Merry Xmas?

2011-12-18T09:08:00.000-08:00

We are moving on the 30th December. We go to the Xmas Cottage from the 23rd to the 27th.
The Famous Brother flies into London on Monday for 4 days. MOTHER is already here, in preparation for seeing The Famous Brother.
She spends most of the day sleeping, I have to check every now and then that she is actually breathing.
It is Dr Lauren's birthday on Tuesday. All the family are going out to The Spur on Wednesday.
Somehow, I have to pack.......

Culture Vulture

2011-12-18T07:35:00.000-08:00

Nice Bum!

So lovely , going to the ballet! Tickets to the Nutcracker were my birthday gift from Dr Lauren and Darling Simon.
The costumes had £10 000 worth of Swarovski crystals sewn onto them. It was a wonderful night indeed.

Quite the funniest thing..in the interval (during which, for some odd reason, the Poms all buy ice cream?? It was bloody freezing!), anyway, there was a chav girl, on a date with a non chav guy. Eavesdropping, (as I am wont to do) , this is what she said....

A) She would rather have gone to a musical
B) Ballet is boring
C)You can stick your Sugar Plum Fairies and Tutu Boy up your arse.

Quite made my night, as she went on in this vein for at least 10 minutes.
I rather liked Tutu boy!

Leicester Square was crazy...millions of people, such a buzz, I am going to miss that so much!
I love coming home late on the trains with all the drunk/fabulously dressed/ many and varied people...last night there were 3 Saffas doing mean things to a Hamleys Xmas Bear.

Breathing Space

2011-12-09T12:13:00.001-08:00

A gap between agents while we rent....before we buy.
Not sure if my nerves can take it.

Cherry Hinton

2011-12-09T11:56:00.001-08:00

Cherry Hinton is where we will be living in Cambridge. Sounds very Pom!

So, not the Charmingly Impractical Cottage.
Rather, the Almost Acceptable House

Despite the agents not being able to drive me anywhere, even in a car branded with the company name. Can you believe it? Crazy. Totally crazy.

Positive points:

The Hubby can walk to work
I can walk to Tesco's
Bus stop 2 minutes away to the city and station.
Garage for the car we will get (amazing..haven't seen a garage for years!)
An actual built in cupboard in the main bedroom.
A dishwasher . (phew!)
Garden

Not so great points

3rd bedroom same size as a coffee table
Looks a bit ugly from the outside

Disaster

The Bathroom.

But....is a 6 month contract, and overall, is awfully practical. Has 2 more rooms than we have now. If you can call the 3rd bedroom a room.
I think I will use it as a dressing room.

Now, just to get someone to move us between xmas and new year.
Doomed comes to mind.

Agents!

2011-12-07T09:38:00.001-08:00

It's hard enough looking for a house, these fuckwit agents make it even harder.
They are not insured to drive me.
There is no easy way of getting to the properties in the villages.
I will have to hire a car now. And then drive behind the agents. Or find an agreeable taxi driver who will follow the agents and go to different villages.What a bloody pain.

London is way more civilized.
Last time I was up in Cambridge I noticed the buses do not have a display telling you where the stops are. This is not good when it is pitch dark , raining, the windows are steamed up and you don't know where you are anyway!
The one difference is that the people in Cambridge will actually speak to you, so you can ask for directions.
This is what I have learnt about asking for directions.

To avoid asking tourists who are as lost as you are, these are the ones to ask

People with dogs
Old ladies with shopping trolleys
People with children in school uniform
People who look a bit mad (but not too mad)

Nights in London

2011-12-01T15:50:00.001-08:00

Don't think for a minute that my life is just house seeking..ironing..shopping..being a Pom...
Oh No! I have fun too!
I go to functions where the Butlers wear only aprons.....

Strikes

2011-12-01T14:53:00.001-08:00

Really not seriously bad...Somewhat peeved perhaps? Biggest strike ever ,but nobody was terribly inconvenienced, and as you can see...the strikers were not awfully militant!

Hmmm....

2011-11-30T02:30:00.001-08:00

Cambridge is lovely, but as expensive as London. Hence the village search.
Saw a lovely house yesterday (lovely is a relative term here, we are ignoring the fact that these houses have no cupboards) but it was properly in the middle of nowhere...think of the house in Father Ted and you will get the idea. So no on that one.

Second house was not quite so much in the middle of nowhere , but the lounge was blue (carpet and walls) the bedroom was pink (ditto) and no dishwasher. Actually no white goods at all, but panic set in with the dishwasher.
For some odd reason, this house has 3 bathrooms. Very unusual for a Pom house.
Still, was a bit crap.

Third house was the most quirky , wonderful, dear little Enid Blyton/Snow White Cottage I have ever seen. Totally impractical. For example The Hubby would not actually be able to stand in the bedroom, the ceilings are so low. But is fine for me.
Oh! It is so so charming. And delightful. And did I say impractical?
I love it.
The only thing that may stop me from renting this house is that our bed actually may not fit in the bedroom.
The house is about 300 years old, all oak beams and rough finishes, but...the kitchen is great and there is a dishwasher! The shower is downstairs, and the bedrooms are accessed by what amounts to secret passages through which even I have to bend double...There is not one single bedroom cupboard , and none of the walls are straight.....the front door is just big enough for me to walk through with a slight bend to the knee.....
No double glazing, two staircases, higgedly piggedly on either side of the house, making a trip to have a bath a whole adventure...
If we do decide to move to Cambridge area, this is the one for me!

Estate agents..here we go again

2011-11-27T10:55:00.001-08:00

Google is definitely your friend....you can look at houses, see the street view, chart the distance to The Hubby's work, look at bus routes, train stations, even zoom in on the garden of a house you are interested in..all good...until you start with the fuckwit agents.
Never mind... nonetheless, I am headed up to Cambridge for the day on Tuesday to see some properties.
Stupid agent said he would meet me AT THE PROPERTY, so, I need to get a train from London, then a flipping taxi to the house.
Never mind...I know this now.....breathe....breathe...breathe.....

Ag Shame and Siestog

2011-11-24T13:23:00.001-08:00

MOTHER has had a 'cricket 'problem for the last month. I know that crickets can be annoying, but at the same time, was fascinated to know that they existed in Scotland. Still and all, she would never ever spray them with Doom (or the local equivalent)
Never seen anything to compare to Doom here, maybe a tin called 'lets have a cup of tea and perhaps you can fuck off '

Nonetheless, she got quite used to the dear cricket, and indeed, started speaking to him.

Sadly, he turned out to be the battery warning on her smoke alarm.

I know...it's not funny,but you have to laugh!!

Village Life

2011-11-24T03:21:00.001-08:00

I have a list of villages around Cambridge that I would truly love to live in

Bassingbourn-cum-Kneesworth
Saffron Walden
Steeple Morden
Stow cum Quy
Swaffham Bulbeck
Litlington

but, most of all, I want to live in Six Mile Bottom.

Winter?

2011-11-20T10:09:00.001-08:00

I do think it is winter now. Today was 7C and really foggy...proper London Pea soup fog. Not actually very cold..I went to feed my squirrels still in bare feet, but with a cardi on. So, not too bad yet.
At 5pm it was pitch black midnight dark. So, yes, I think winter has arrived!

Other issues of the moment..I cannot get my flipping font back to normal..no idea what happened, so we will be experimenting with different fonts

My mouse is broken. I cannot get on with the stupid touchpad thing. However, due to the miracles of the British Postal Service, my new mouse will arrive tomorrow.

After all the excitement of The Hubby's new job in Cambridge, I am slowly waking up to the horror of changing addresses, packing, ....and leaving London.
Am going to lie down now for a bit......

Estate Agent Job Description

2011-11-18T12:15:00.001-08:00

Ok now this has pissed me off big time.
I am actually REALLY CROSS
In words that probably are not bloggable.

After 3 years of living in this country, I have for the first time come across a RELOCATION AGENT.

An Agent who actually knows the area, cares about your criteria, understands what you are looking for... Bloody Hell! How hard can it be?? This is what we did!

I am sooo going to ask this company to let me work for them. I am actually quite excited at the fact of me, working for them, showing them how realty works...

Fine, in the meantime , they will work for me...
Let's not try to be too Saffa about this... R10 000 is not too much to pay if you can find someone who is not a total doos...
Remember last year o faithful bloggers? Do you want to suffer that again?
I think not.
So...think about R10 000 , as commission for working with me? Doesn't sound so bad now huh??

Goodbye London

2011-11-18T10:01:00.001-08:00

The Hubby has procured a good job in Cambridge. V. Exciting!
Cambridge seems to be a lovely town. Whilst he was at his interview, I did a 2 hour walking tour.
Nice, very very nice, bit too heavy on the churchy thing...church on every corner, but historically, the monks were the only educated people, the only ones who had the time to read and write, so I will try to look at it from that point of view.

So! On the move again!
Phoned 3 estate agents today.

Again, stupid fuckwit agents. I had a headache after ten minutes.
Here we go again.......

Oh NHS

2011-11-18T09:46:00.001-08:00

The Hubby has Otitis Externa. This seems to be an ear infection which is not actually in the ear...anyway..
The NHS Dr. prescribed Vinegar. Dr Lauren Prescribed Lemon Juice.
Any Saffa Dr. would have prescribed steroids.
So, all week , I am going to have a husband who is like a salad dressing who has earache, instead of a husband who will be cured after 2 days on steroids.
Sometimes, they should think of the patient's family

Autumn?

2011-11-14T10:54:00.001-08:00

This is a leaf the size of the leaf that blew into my face on our walk.
Not the actual leaf.....
Seems we have moved from Autumn to Indian Summer to Winter... Brr 9 C today.
But not so cold that I actually had to wear shoes....

Childrens

2011-11-13T11:34:00.001-08:00

Today was The Gorgeous Son's Birthday Lunch. Not the Actual Birthday, which is tomorrow, but the day on which we could all get together.
The weather was amazing enough for us to be able to eat outside .
(Mid November? Who Knew?)

The best thing of all... you never know which direction life is going to take. And who knew our lives would connect with Darling Simon? He can make the best roast potatoes ever (he knows I suck at making them...and is not afraid to tell me so...or to tell Dr Lauren to tell me..)
Roast potatoes aside, our family has been enriched by Darling Simon.
And his family.
So The Gorgeous Son has a brother that he loves, we adore our son in law...Dr Lauren.. you did well!
Also, I will never have to roast potatoes ever again.
Good Day today.
Happy Birthday Jeeps
xx

Big Issue

2011-11-12T06:44:00.001-08:00

Confession....I have been avoiding the Big Issue Seller outside Sainsburys. I simply cannot BOND with her the way I did with my seller in Greenwich. I feel really bad, seeing as I did buy him coffee from Starbucks when it was snowing. And now, here I am, sneaking out the side door to avoid Unlikable Woman Seller.
Also, I must admit, that John Bird's writings in the mag are getting way too far left of Tory for my liking.
To assuage my guilt, I have upped my contribution to Cancer Research.
If a homeless person has the misfortune to have cancer as well, I have it covered.
Doesn't actually make me feel that much better.
Ok, Ok....first thing Monday, I will steel myself to buy the new issue.
Bloody Hell.

Winter a coming...

2011-11-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

Not too bad...I can still sit out with my morning coffee and my squirrels at about 8am (darkish)
Still no need for shoes or slippers...but a nightie has been replaced by jammies.
Not for inside..dear lord, the combination of 2 hours worth of central heating a night and menopause does not require winter pyjamas.
Still not getting why The Poms moan about the weather...we are into November! And still barefoot weather!

I did buy a waterproof jacket . (after the Scotland and Cornwall experience of finding out my jackets were not waterproof)
So! I have a Fuchsia colored jacket, with hood, insulated, ready for all snow sports, built in gloves (this is my best! How cool is that? Sleeves with gloves! Never ever seen that before!)
On the technical front:

Crystal Densely Woven Shell Fabric
Woo Hoo! Apparently, is Chic...yet Practical! Will keep me dry...and looking great! Good luck to them. I have never yet looked great , maybe I could sue?
Also, my new jacket has a Volume Adjustable Hood. A Snow Seal System. A Water Repellent Zip. (??) A Google Pocket. (??) A Communications Pocket. Adjustable Storm Cuffs. Single Cinch Draw Cords ( no idea) Utility D ring \no idea)
Also..VENTING
Zipped pockets
Detachable braces
Stretch waist (this may be good)
Preformed Knee shape
Integrated Snow Gaiters (gaiter?)

A JACKET! IT IS JUST A BLOODY JACKET FOR FUCK'S SAKE

New Words

2011-11-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

OK, so there is no such thing as a 'weed eater', here, in Pom Land, it is a 'strimmer'
Which sounds vaguely rude actually.
The Landlord came by to mow the lawn and 'strim' the garden. Also, he had a new chainsaw , so he chopped down all the bushes.
Also, whilst on the home front, the washing machine has broken down, there is something to be said for renting....just phone the Landlord , and all is fixed. The washing machine people are coming tomorrow, which is a good thing seeing as I have a half washed load of towels in a bucket in the bathroom.
Oh Lordy, once again it seems I am unable to raise my conversation above the kitchen floor...

Daylight Saving Again

2011-10-31T08:35:00.000-07:00

Another year. Another hour. Another total not actually understanding the whole concept.
So, just as everything was fine, it is now darker earlier . This is a Pom self imposed winter thing. No idea.
Is stupid.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T08:26:00.000-07:00

In the past, I have been quite rude about The Worst Pub in The World, but it has redeemed itself big time
and now is my favourite pub. Up until now , The Hubby and I have only popped in for a drink late afternoon , but at night...goodness! This odd pub comes to life. Imagine our surprise on Halloween (which is , for some odd reason, a MASSIVE thing here) to find the pub crowded with hundreds of people, all dressed to kill. (literally)
The pub looked weirdly fabulous, with smoke bombs going off, and special effects lighting, absolutely amazing. There was hardly room to breathe, never mind move.
Then, at 11.30, a strange thing. Must be a Pom thing. The landlord came out to the garden/marquees, and said "Right, everyone inside now", and indeed, all the people , without a murmur, filed into the pub. Impossible really, seeing as the pub was already full, but even though it took a good 10 minutes, everyone squished inside. We had to leave, there was simply no space.
My photos do not do any justice to the evening, as I didn't take my camera and just had the stupid phone camera.
All the drinks were glowing in the ultra violet lights, there was a group of 10 all dressed in amazing alien costumes, klu klux klan, nazis (ok, so not awfully PC) , also, it is not always such a good idea to take photos of arb people, so I did have to restrain myself. But what a hoolie! If we are still here next year, I may even dress. Broken Ankle Man had the best ever Halloween costume, a black T shirt that said BOO!
He is so funny.

Wardrobe Change

2011-10-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

Today was the Big Day.

Eventually I unpacked the winter wardrobe after having threatened to do it for the last 3 weeks.
Still and all, it was so hot upstairs (heating not on, but sun streaming through the windows) so here I was , sweating, packing away the shorts and T shirts and summer jammies.

If it is hot again all week , we are screwed.

Stupid vacuum pack things, I had to iron all The Hubby's jerseys (who knows anyone who owns 10 jerseys? Jumpers? Whatever?)

Had to iron all this last year's vacuum packed stuff , did draw the line at ironing the winter jammies. Am trying to get less anal.

Went outside to cool off and watch the Watership Down that is my back garden these days. Fox , sunning himself and scratching like crazy (looks very mangy)
Squirrel very demanding while I was trying not to scare the fox away, jays eating the revolting dried meal worms that I will never buy again..yuk!
Massive black crow that was actually quite scary.

So..today was a clothes management day. All the cupboards and drawers are sorted. (coincidentally, got a charity pick up bag for clothes today, fetching Thursday)
Also organised all The Hubby's clothes in the wardrobe...long sleeved shirts/short sleeved shirts/ trousers/

Ha! I said trousers! Not pants!

Speaking of pants, must be a man thing, but The Hubby has winter/summer undies.
I have never had this issue. Go figure.

Dr Lauren bought a fancy smanchy Ted Baker Coat...still too hot to wear it!
I have cleared the coat rack of summer hats and pashminas, making space for scarves and coats.

And still...the warm weather persists....

Sun Damage

2011-10-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

My entire body is as white as a milk bottle...well, apart from my arms. Up until now I thought they were still tanned, but no! This is not tan. This is Sun Damage.
My arms are mottled...white, with brown bits.
All my Saffa friends...we do such damage! Please put sun screen on your arms.

So now I look like one of those ponies. White with brown spots.
Charming.

Weatherwise, today was a high of 17....PLUMMETING to about 7 as soon as the sun went down.

A new Pom trick today: Cousin Katy phoned me and said "You sound so warm!"
She is up in Scotland, in a howling gale and freezing temperatures, I was sitting outside in the sun when she called, and she could tell! Pretty impressive stuff!

Dark mornings...

2011-10-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

This morning when I went to make coffee

(The Hubby does not perform this chore. I ask myself..
Why? ..
I remind myself:
Because I have spoilt him rotten for 30 years)

Anyway, this morning , for the first time since late October last year ,I had to switch the kitchen light on at 7am. Gone are the days when we had coffee at 5 am in bright light before The Hubby left for Dublin.

Still and all, the rest of the day was fabulous, sunny, warm, T Shirt weather. Washing drying weather. Amazing..
End of October, still fab weather..
Fab weather being 15 C plus.

So...just a thought.

Differences between Saffas and Poms.

What Saffas take for granted:

Weather
Domestic help
Driving in cars
Braai's
Large houses and gardens

What Poms take for granted

National Heath Scheme
Public Transport
Social services
Policing
Transparent government
Secular Country

I may be wrong, I may be putting my personal stake on this...but it seems to me that what the Poms take for granted is what the Saffas would love to have. And indeed, vice versa.
Just that weather does not outdo the social benefits here.
Could never have afforded the broken ankle on Discovery Health.

Best words

2011-10-06T11:59:00.000-07:00

The Welsh for microwave oven is Popty Ping. (colloquial , obviously)
I love it.
Henceforth our microwave is now the Popty Ping.

Xmas is coming

2011-10-06T02:52:00.000-07:00

Only 80 sleeps I believe.

Yesterday I got the new Lakeland catalogue and was overcome by all the cupcake, chocolate and other nice xmas stuff you can make.Suddenly struck by guilt about the amount of money we usually spend on gifts, I thought it would be better to make all the gifts this year.
Dr Lauren was unsure, but The Gorgeous Son pointed out that it was going to be very hard for me to make a Polaroid camera for him.
Fair enough.
I left the Lakeland catalogue outside on the garden table and it got wet, so this morning the home made gift idea thing has worn off.

Autumn Report

2011-10-06T02:45:00.000-07:00

Like the true Pom that I am now, I am always going on about the weather.

We have gone from 27+ C down to about 15, which is still OK.
The way I figure it, apart from 2 or 3 crap weeks , we have had good weather since April. October doesn't look too bad, even if only the first half. That leaves 5 and a half months of winter . Say one month of snow, which is great, I love the snow, so only 4 and a half months to get through. How bad can it be?
I am now properly sorted (as they say here) with my autumn/winter wardrobe.I have learnt from Dr Lauren's mistakes, and indeed , my own. In theory, if I dress properly, I won't be cold.

Bring it on! I am ready!

Crazy Weather

2011-10-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

Today, again, crazy weather...27C ! Warmer than Bloemfontein, warmer than Jo'burg, warmer than most of the world...(well perhaps not the WHOLE world)

Warmer than where MOTHER lives, and MOTHER is moaning and bitching about the rain...me, I have fuck all no sympathy, as The Famous Brother did say he would pay for MOTHER to go to South Africa again, from October to February.

Nonetheless, I don't live up North, so today I am wearing shorts and a T shirt.
Is that not amazing?
Well, luckily the blog is not visual, so you don't have to see me in aforementioned shorts.

Yesterday we had a BBQ, all the children, Dr Lauren and Darling Simon , The Gorgeous Son and The New Girlfriend and Broken Ankle Man and Lovely Wife Jo.
Actually Lovely Wife Jo is also Dr Jo, so she and Dr Lauren bonded and ended up with no sympathy for either Poor me or Poor Broken Ankle Man.

I Love Broken Ankle Man.

Sure he thinks I am a mad old bat.
Personally I think we are suffering with Dr Lauren and Dr Jo being Dr's and maybe seeing worse injuries and
stuff than our Broken Ankles.

HA!

Forward Planning...

2011-09-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

This sign is on my walk up to the library, I love it.
You can just imagine the guy (has to be a guy) drawing the square, writing CCTV IN...and then..ah , Fuck it!

Makes me laugh every time I see it!

A Bridge too far?

2011-09-29T07:16:00.000-07:00

Speak like a pom

2011-09-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

Nearly choked laughing the other day when The Hubby said "Haff Passt two" and not "Harf Parst two"

We both say BBQ now instead of Braai, without even thinking.
Corner shop instead of cafe, we use bungalow, high street, well good, it is creeping up on us, this Pom talk.

We have probably turned down our speaking volume by at least 40%, but Dr Lauren says we are still LOUD.
Must be because Saffas are used to being in wide open spaces and we have to shout to each other.
The Hubby can be anywhere in the wee house or the garden and all I have to do is quietly say his name, even with his encroaching (selective) deafness, he can hear me.
Must admit, if there is a Saffa on the bus or tube or in a shop...yup! You sure can hear them.

Indian Summer

2011-09-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

Phew! It is really hot hot hot! 27C. I am sitting outside in little intervals as it is actually too hot for me.

Yesterday the autumn/winter clothes I ordered arrived.
I love shopping online.

I have realised that in South Africa, you dress to be cool and stay cool, or be warm and stay warm.
No good here. You can't be in a big bulky jersey and then have to deal with central heating/heated transport/ heated shops...you would be doing an eternal strip tease.
So I have bought light cardies and jumpers to wear under my coats. This seems unimaginable now, in this heat.
I have packed all the new clothes away.

The Hubby is doing some computer stuff upstairs , but in a bit we shall head off to The Worst Pub in The World, which, strangely, is growing on me.
They had 2 events recently, one in which they paraded through town and sprinkled/threw talcum powder on everyone (?) and 2, Talk like a Pirate Day. They are mad.
But...they have tidied up a bit in the garden, and at the minute the pub is festooned with pirate stuff, including a large fishing net and a shark.

X Factor

2011-09-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, I do watch it, yes, I Love it, and I am nailing my colours to the wall for this year, Janet Devlin has to be the winner.

Is exhausting, Sunday night: X Factor, Downton Abbey and The Only way is Essex which I can't stay awake to watch, but will watch tomorrow on the strange miracle that is Catch up TV.

Headline!

2011-09-24T14:11:00.000-07:00

The Daily Mail is SUCH a hysterical paper, hence the fact that I took a pic, rather than actually buying it. The Hubby and I are terrified of turning into Daily Mail readers.
83 F is only about , what 25? 26 ish? Never mind...I welcome the heat wave.It has been a fabulous week weather wise anyway, amazing that it is going to get better!
Notice too, that The DM can't just let us enjoy the bloody heat wave, it has to be accompanied with a warning about The Big Freeze.
How I managed to get a shot on top of the photo of the paper that looks like Muizenberg taken from Strand on a summer's morning....pretty impressive seeing as the pic was taken on my phone, in Sainsburys.

Disposals

2011-09-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

So awfully organised are the Poms...I got through the letter box a leaflet asking for clothes, toiletries, shoes etc, so I did a quick sort out , put them in the bags, and voila! Picked up the next morning.
I am still getting rid of clothes I brought over from South Africa and have never actually worn. Or clothes that have proven themselves useless in Pom weather.
Like my Woolies Jacket which actually is not waterproof, and has a hood that is worse than useless.
Unfortunately the winter clothes are still vacuum packed away, so they will have to wait for the next cull.

The books, too, have been sorted, both The Hubby and I have Kindles now, so we are no longer stacking books all over the wee house.
We do, however, have about 200 books on the Kindle. Takes up no space at all. So very clever.

I feel very pleased with all this de cluttering and downsizing. It is a very satisfying way to live.

Squirrel Update

2011-09-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

Whoops! Dropped it!

Dear little Meisie who has totally bonded with the (somewhat odd) squirrel statuette.

Asian Pear

2011-09-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

I am epicuriously adventurous, so when I see something new, I am never afraid to try it.
This Asian Pear (3 for £1.50) tastes like a cross between a turnip, an apple and a bucket of water.
Bleh

Shocking Shopping .. SA versus UK

2011-09-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

Well, consider me shocked!

Friend of ours has just returned from SA and said that grocery shopping was so expensive there now...must admit I was a bit skeptical, even though I do know the prices have gone up since we left.

So, today , I did my online Tesco shop, and a virtual shop on the Pick 'n pay online site.
Tesco is comparable to Pick 'n Pay. Asda is like Checkers, and Sainsburys more like Woolies.
I always look for the bargains and the offers, so I have compared them to Pick 'n Pay own brands, and tried to be as fair as I can. It is easy to work on R10 to the £, but actually it is R11ish, to be fair.

This is the shopping list.

Product

SA price UK Price

Marmite 125g R18.49 £1.51

4x soap R28.00 £1.69

Nescafe original R54.89 (200g) £4.00 (300g)

mushrooms 250g R6.00 50p

spaghetti 500g R7.99 18p

Light Marg Spread 500g R25.99 £1.25

Baby tomatoes R7.99 69p

Blueberry Juice 1litre (is good for
preventing alzheimers!) R20.99 £1.00

Aquafresh 3 way toothbrush R38.99 £2.00

3 bean salad 400g R16.99 65p

Dishwasher tabs R55 (for 18) £5.09 (for 33)

Spring Onions bunch R8.99 60p

Pork chops R60 /kg £3.99/kg

Mature cheddar R89.97/kg £9.00/kg

Stuffed Whole chicken R46.99/kg £3.13/kg

sparkling water R5.99 1 liter 17p 2 liter

eggs R1.31each 8p each

'Best of both' bread R10.99 (700g) £1.15 (800g)

Sweetcorn R4 each 50p each

Diet coke cans R36.99 (for 6) £4.89 (for 12)

Loo Roll (9/2 ply) R49.99 £4.00

Lurpack butter 250g R27.99 £1.60

Tampax 20 R31.99 £1.88

Must add Fillet steak....I didn't buy any, everything else on this list I did buy (yes, and the tampax, do you mind??)

Fillet Steak R171.99 £24.99

Ha ha ha ha ha ...we never eat Fillet steak!!

There was more, but I am now exhausted from looking everything up on the Pick 'n pay site which is hard to work with. To be fair, a LOT of stuff is unavailable, but only because they only have online shopping for 6 cities in SA. Also, most prices are quoted in per/kg, and also, you don't get the price on the site, you get the price on the day in the store.

Tesco charges anything from £3.50 to £6 for delivery, depending on the time of day , and how far in advance you book. I usually pay £4.50.
Pick 'n Pay charges a flat rate of R60 for delivery.

This has been a very interesting exercise indeed.

Stepping up

2011-09-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

In South Africa, the most walking I did was from the house to the car. As old blog followers know, here in Pom Land, you have to walk 500 miles a day.
I may have exaggerated, but initially, that is what it felt like.
Now, it is a doddle.
Today I bought a 'step counter' or, as The Hubby insists, a pedometer.
It counts your steps, and you should do 10 000 a day.
Well, my first day, I did 6000.
Quite impressive , I thought.
So, tomorrow, I am back to gym (just because you pay £40 a month , doesn't mean it makes you fit if you don't actually go...
Oh please dear god hope Dr Lauren is not reading this....
But , tomorrow I am back on track and will make up my billion million steps on the treadmill.
ACTUALLY, I walk a million miles more than I ever did before...so...

WHATEVER! (as they say here)

David Walliams

2011-09-13T06:19:00.000-07:00

David Walliams swam the Thames to raise money for Sports Relief

http://www.littlebritainfans.com/

I went to see him at Kew Bridge, which was his last leg of the journey. I am so very impressed with what he has done and it has made me very proud to be a Pom.
The Thames is NASTY and quite dirty in parts, and tidal, and he looked so teeny weeny little swimming in the middle of it, so much so that I did shed a tear.

He raised more than a million £'s. so well done to him.

Weatherwise , it was a lovely day, bit windy on the bridge, but not bad for September.
Still and all , I was glad I wasn't in the water.
Solidarity has its limits.

Well Done David!

Monday summer /autumn/summer/autumn

2011-09-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

Amazing weather here. This morning it was bright sunshine and rather hot on my walk up the hill to the library.
Rather a pathetic walk, I may add, as my ankle is really in a bad way today. I blame this on standing and ironing for about 2 hours. Housework is SO bad for you.

At lunchtime I had to do a mad dash (on my terrible ankle, while The Hubby was calmly reading his Linux magazine) to get the washing in from the rain and wind and cold that suddenly appeared. Then ran around the house closing the windows I had opened to let the sun and fresh air in earlier. OK, only 2 windows upstairs seeing as there are actually only 3 rooms upstairs and the study is like a cave, the Hubby never opens the window.
After this flurry of activity, the sun came out again. The weather here is quite mad.

At the library there was a mad pom person. As I was waiting to check in my books (they are moving to a new system and the awfully clever self check in is not operational) this guy came up and asked the librarian for a tissue. Off she went to get keys for the toilet or god knows what, obviously tissues are not kept handy for such an emergency, I couldn't stand this person with a dripping nose standing next to me any longer , so I gave him a tissue from my wee tissue packet (in my bag, there is always a tissue packet , waterless hand wash and breath spray, gum, toothpicks and Rennies)
Instead of being grateful, he said "Are these made from recycled paper? They are not very good"
I told him they were better than nothing, but his expression indicated that they were not. The librarian came back with toilet paper, which he seemed to prefer.
Then he says to the poor librarian "Can I have a glass of water?"
Lordy! Flaming cheek.
All this , however , deflected from the fact that my books were a day late.
All in all, quite good then.
Oh what an exciting life I do lead!

Hectic

2011-09-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

Hectic is not a word here in Pom Land. Or so we are told by Dr Lauren.
'Hectic' must be replaced by 'Proper off the hook'
I think not.

Now, I have already replaced much of my vocab.

This is 'rubbish'
Instead of This is 'kak'

I am 'well impressed'
Rather than I am 'kak impressed'

It is an 'awfully long way'
Not a 'kak long way'

Actually, perhaps my vocab is increasing....there are obviously many words more descriptive than 'kak'
I accept this.

The 'hectic' replacement, however, may be a step too far.

Vok!

Rick Stein

2011-09-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

Rick Stein has an amazing presence in Padstow, with his Seafood Restaurant, his cafe, deli, patisserie, shop, fish and chips...it's fabulous.
The food is out of this world, the staff is wonderful, decor, ambiance, wines...
All perfect.

Saffas, stop reading here.

Signs Cornish Style

2011-09-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

This is at the Eden Project!

St Ives...beware those seagulls....

Yup!

This is at Rock, I was dying to wave the flag to summon the ferry.

There's always one, isn't there?

Brmm Brmm

2011-09-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

Wonderful being on holiday in Cornwall with The Hubby, but before I say a word about that...I drove! For the first time since I arrived here. I was a bit nervous at the thought of it after all this time, The Hubby saying "it's just like riding a bike" did not help, seeing as I was the one that fell off the bike (twice) in Amsterdam.
But no...I turned on the engine, did a KAK impressive reverse out of a narrow parking in an alley, and I was off!
No problem at all. I had almost forgotten what an exceptionally good driver I was (am)

Especially seeing as this is an average road in Cornwall. I was like a rally driver let me tell you!
This is not a one way either. It is quite hair raising.

No sooner was I behind the wheel than The Hubby turned into a back seat driver. In fact, it was worse, as we had the sat nav, but he had to say what to do BEFORE Sat Nav Bitch said it, and then repeat it afterwards.
He went a tad pale on the double roundabout, oh..and when the bus approached...but we survived.

I made The Hubby stand in this road in St Ives for scale.There is a shit load of reversing that goes on in these wee towns! We park and walk. We have walked a million miles since we got here. Uphill.

Tricky driving in the UK. I have no concept of what a mile is. Sat Nav Bitch does not help by saying things like "In 1200 feet, turn left" or " In 0.3 miles take the third exit."
The speedometer too, is a problem. I have no idea how fast I am going. All I know is 30 in town, 70 on the motorway. 20 near a school.
Whatever that is in k's.

Tea Time

2011-09-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

Aren't these cakes lovely?
Totally wasted on me, I don't like cakes.
I like to look at them, but actually eating them is always a big disappointment.

Give me a can of Original Pringles every time.

These cakes are in a coffee shop in Soho.
So inbetween the Rampant Rabbits and Live Sex Shows, we had a civilised cup of tea and a cake.

I just had the tea....

FRIEND

2011-09-01T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, indeed!
I have a friend. Is very exciting, after all this time.
Who knew that Broken Ankle man's wife would be so lovely?
And that the BBQ would be just fine?
Amazing stuff indeed!

Rather overindulged on the wine due to the novelty of communicating with
people that I was not related to/ sleeping with.
The weather is glorious, 23 C, we are going to Cornwall on Saturday, all in good here in London...oh, did I mention I have a new friend??

Squirrel Update for Tiffany

2011-08-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

For my Birthday. MOTHER bought me a squirrel (not a real one )
He is now placed on the Squirrel feeding table, as the squirrels wait patiently at the feeding table now.

When I say squirrels...sadly to report, Hoppy is nowhere to be seen. Since the large walnut tree has sprouted nuts, he has been nowhere near the table. Just wait till winter you ungrateful little shit.

The walnut tree is full of squirrels, but , only dear ,dear little Meisie still comes for her food. She always stands with one little paw over her heart. She hardly ever eats the nuts I put out, just takes them and buries them for winter. Not like the rest of them, scoffing all the walnuts without a thought to the future.
I put out bread and sunflower seeds for her as well, so that at least she eats something.
She has made friends with the squirrel statue. Bless her.

Jamie Oliver

2011-08-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

Actually , my birthday is the 26th, but it was such a day...no time to blog!
Fabulous lunch at Amiga Jane in Weybridge, with flowers and pressies and wine . I am so so happy she is in London!
More flowers, more pressies.....tickets for Swan Lake
Out to supper at Canary Wharf, at Jamie Olivers restaurant.
It really is a great place, good ambience, decor, service...and the food was remarkable.

The family was too embarrassed by me to allow photos of all the food, but these were the olives for the table...sure set the level of things to come.

Happy Birthday to me!

2011-08-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

This is unbelievably my third birthday in England.

First surprise of the day (after breakfast in bed from The Hubby), was this van parked in our street! Aaargh!
I am afraid that he has set some traps, but did not come and ask me if he could set one in our garden

Lucky for him.

Pom help needed

2011-08-25T13:44:00.000-07:00

Yes! After an entire year of living in Cottage Grove, we have finally cracked the nod and been invited to a BBQ.
Across the road lives Man With Broken Ankle. He broke his ankle about 2 months after me, and we have been chatting on and off since. Today, after our chat about ankles and our comparison of scars, he invited me to a BBQ.

Problem is , I have forgotten his name. No big deal...I think he has forgotten mine as well.
I have primed The Hubby, when we go to the BBQ, I will say "This is The Hubby" and then The Hubby will say" Paul" and in theory, Broken Ankle Man will say his name.
This is not my issue.

My issue is that a BBQ is not a braai. At Pom BBQ's,they cook sausages and burgers. So, do we be big show off Saffas and arrive with steak and ribs, or do we go the Pom route and go with sausages? What if they don't do sausages and then we look like Chavs? What if they all do steaks and then we are stuck with eating crap sausages and burgers.
Perhaps we should go to the Saffa shop and get wors and ribs? Do I take a salad? A dessert? Flowers?

I think I will go over the road and throw myself on the mercy of Broken Ankle Man's wife (whose name I also don't know) and ask her about BBQ etiquette.Would that be a weird thing to do?
What if Broken Ankle Man told his wife that he invited us and she said something like "Oh bloody hell no, they are foreigners?"
What if they see us as bad neighbours like Nigel The Wanker who feeds the pigeons and is under suspicion of keying a car? Or Marion the Dutch Lady who hates everyone in the street? Or the rest of the neighbours who are 90 in the shade and keep dying?
How do I approach my very first social engagement ever in the UK? With Poms ? Obviously, I have had many social occasions with ex Saffas. Totally different.
Bloody hell...how hard can this be??
HELP!

International Housework Appreciation Day

2011-08-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

This should be a new public holiday

It will be the only day in the year when you buy a household appliance as a gift for your wife.
The holiday shall apply to husbands/partners, and children over 18 still living at home.
There will be flowers and cards given.

I have some verse ideas for the cards.

Domestic Goddess, this is for you
For all of the wonderful things that you do
Like changing the sheets and cleaning the loo
'Cos I never do it when I have a poo.
   **
Spare toilet roll always waiting for me
Toilet is wiped after I do a wee
No dust is visible on my TV
Beer in the fridge and cake with my tea

   **

Undies are always tucked in my drawer
Socks have been moved from the sitting room floor
Finger prints wiped from the walls and the door
Domestic Goddess, could I ask for more?

   **

A clean shirt awaits me for each working day
New shoelaces ready for when older ones fray
House always scented with some kind of spray
All of my messes just magicked away

   **

The duvet is straightened with one simple tuck
The carpets are cleaned with a powerful suck
Sometimes I simply can't believe my luck
I'm sorry that I am an ungrateful fuck

   **

Should I go on? Because I can go on forever.....

Home Sweet Home

2011-08-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

Back in England again..goodness, Scotland is very different!
People do speak to you there, here, as you know, if you speak to anyone, they think you are mad, and ignore you.

Strangely, I like (or have got used to) the fact that nobody speaks to anybody. It's fine, and quite practical. And timesaving.

I can see the allure of retiring to a village somewhere, and settling in to a small community where everyone chats .
That, nonetheless, is a while away. But I think it will be nice at some stage..

For now, The Hubby and I are enjoying London for as long as it lasts.