Things that are sad (after some brandies)

Very Sad Things

A Very Sad Thing is that although I know all the words to all the songs in the world, and have even written a musical play, I cannot sing.

Everyone says that anyone can sing...no they can't. Not me. Not a bit.

An Even More Sad Thing is that I like to sing so much and I have to do it all alone otherwise everyone laughs at me . And all by myself I can sing anything. And even more sad and pathetic is that my children loved when I sang to them until they got to about 4 and heard other people sing.

That is a Very Sad Thing.

Another Sad Thing is Cousin Janet , who we are going to stay with in Spain. She is lovely and wonderful and is just so much like my mother -in -law (her aunt) that it makes me sad.

And another sad thing is the 'Stuck on you' movie that I am watching.Will they separate? Will Meryl Streep help them? Will they find true love? Will the girlfriend still love the other guy whose name I have forgotten (not Greg Kinnear) when she finds out he is a conjoined twin??

What the fuck is Cher doing in this movie?

Lordy!

Tesco

Well, for the first time ever I had quite an uncaring and rudeTesco delivery guy.

Not only did he not open the door when I pressed the buzzer, thus making me have to go into the lobby to let him in, he did not help one bit to unpack .

(this is not in the Tesco delivery person job description, but most of the guys at least make an effort)

He did not ask me if I had any bags to recycle

He did not apologise for the one substitution

And , worst of all, he BROKE my jar of Cornichons

What , may you ask, is a cornichon? Indeed , you may ask. It has taken me a YEAR to be able to order this very common or garden item on my internet shop.

I eventually find out what the fuck they call them here, order them, and then they get broken!

I sieved the glass out and we ate them anyway

So I am not saying. If you know anyway, you are worse than a smartarse.

If you don't ...Ha! Welcome to my world.

New visitors!

Hey guys..according to my weekly stats updates I have 52 new visitors...say hello! Who are you all?

I am thrilled to bits to have any visitors at all.......

Ellies again

This is the Tommy Hilfiger Elephant. See me peeping over the top? Added this for scale.

This Ellie would be just perfect for my garden . (when I get one)

The opening bid on the Ellies is £500.

The current bid on this one is £3500.

Kak.

So that would be a no then.

Weather Report

Oh Yeah! Hot hot hot!!!

Really hot, and indeed, for 3 days in a row.

In fact, I thought it was too hot to walk to the station yesterday, then thought again not to be so ridiculous, it was actually only in the 20's.

The Hubby and I had a wonderful day out, trailing around London, ate Lebanese supper, stopped off for oysters and champagne, tracked down more Ellies, and saw the new installation on the Fourth plinth in Trafalgar square. (see pics)

Got home about 9 and were amazed it was still light!

How wonderful.

And, you may be able to tell by the sudden improvement in my photos that I got a new camera. (see amazing zoom in on sails of ship in bottle on plinth)

I think the other one just plain wore out.

Prawns?

Jumbo King Prawns...ha ha ha ha ha ha

Friends

So here's the thing.....

People my age have enough friends and don't want to make more.

Very few people my age in London anyway.

I don't think I am going to make any friends here any time soon. Actually, I do not really want a Pom friend as they all seem to be a bit odd. I don't understand them, and they sure don't understand me. There actually is a song here called 'I've never met a nice South African' Can you BELIEVE that!

When we move to the Caterham Cottage (if the fuckwit agents and brokers and attorneys ever get their arses into gear and we ever actually move into the house) MAYBE because it is a village , there will be a book club/ something club, or I will get a job and meet work people.

Otherwise I will just turn into a mad old bat that speaks to herself all day. Perhaps I will get a cat.

Do I really need friends ? Not so much. I have skype, and Amiga Jane is moving here soon, and Charlotte is here, and First friend Kaybee , and of course Neil Worrell Esq, jeez...how many friends do I need?

I think I am not missing friends so much as I am missing work. Is getting a bit old, being an ousie all day. Even in London.

But I do miss my SA friends, I have met LOTS of nice South Africans . Stupid song.

Weather Update

So...OK, it is summer! It is HOT. This is what I am wearing: Capri pants...T Shirt.

HA! At last!

It is indeed so hot that I actually was sweating. Ok, 22 degrees, but after a year I have become an almost sissy baby pom.

Bright sunshine all day long, it is 8.45 pm now, and still daylight.

I knew it had to happen sometime, and it is not even officially summertime yet, apparently that happens in July/August.

We are going to La Coruna in Spain at the end of the month. Maybe it will be even hotter there?

More Ellies

And I love the Ellies too!

Anniversary

I have been here a year!

Can you believe it?

Some days I feel quite settled, and some days I don't.

Everything is becoming more and more familiar, and SA seems very far away.

I miss the view of the Hottentots Holland Mountains from my bedroom window.

I miss lunch at a wine farm.

I miss swimming in the pool on a hot evening....but Oh! I love London!

I love knowing my way around so easily, tubes and trains and buses and boats.

I love South Bank and the sun behind Big Ben.And I love the green.

It's worth the rain.

Toilet Humour again

By the time they had written, printed, put it in the plastic sleeve and stuck it on the door, I'm sure they could have fixed the seat!

Best Sign ever!

In case the writing came out a bit small....

'Please do not wash your hands in the Fish Tank'

This is in See Woo , my local Chinese Supermarket. The fish tank contains live lobsters and crabs and a truly disgusting looking mollusc that looks like a penis.

Visits

Lordy!

Ex partner Ann came over from SA for a visit en route to her cruise, and we met up with Neil Worrell Esq. and Brave Brave Sir Cameron , Cousin Janet from Spain then arrived... then the visit from MOTHER, necessitating many minor visits along the way from all the children and The Famous Brother. Same day as I shoved MOTHER back on the train, Sister Victoria came to visit... I am knackered!

Fun though!

houses

I have discovered that it's not just the estate agents I hate. I also hate the conveyancers, the survey people and the mortgage broker.
Unfortunately, if I want this house purchase to go through, I have to be nice to all of them.
I am wondering what it would take to actually get everyone to get their arses into gear.

There appears to be a bloody survey for everything and they all cost me money.
A survey to investigate the likelihood of a flood in the next 100 years
A survey to find out if there is going to be a highway through your property
A survey to investigate what your neighbors are planning
A survey to find out if any factories in the area produce materials which may have a detrimental affect on the environment, thus reducing the value of the property.

And...worst of all, I have to pay for the upkeep of some bloody falling down ancient church.
Me! An Atheist...paying for a flipping church!
I am taking out a Chancel Policy to protect me for being slapped with a bill for a new church roof.
And Oh yes! This has happened ...hence the existence of the aforementioned policy
Can you believe this stuff??

Blogging?

In case anyone was wondering what is happening....MOTHER is visiting.

Normal service will resume soon.

If I survive

Ellies

All over London are these Ellies. 250 of them. So far I have seen 17. Most of them when The Hubby and I went on a pub crawl around town yesterday. We didn't intend to do a pub crawl but that's how it ended up.

For £13.95 we had a jug of Woo Woo cocktail. Vodka, Teichenne Peach (whatever that is) and cranberry juice. Tasted like kool-aid. We also had wine, beer, sloe gin , sloe gin on ice cream, and brandy.

Have wicked hangover.

The Ellies will be sold on auction after they have been displayed for the summer. I really really want one, but I think I will be bidding against Elton John, The Queen and Cliff Richard.

So that would be a no.

Pity.

Feet

My feet are turning into Sissy Baby Pom Feet.

I walked barefoot to First Friend Kaybee's apartment and the gravel hurt my feet.

I don't believe it.

Voting Day

Very Exciting!

I have never voted in the UK before, so like a good (new) citizen off I went to the polling booth.

This was right outside our door. Most handy.

Things I Learned:

NO GUNS!! This is the first time I have voted without guns being present.

No ink on the thumbnail. Pity, I rather liked that bit

No ID books. Or passports , or any form of ID apart from your official poll card.

Funniest thing....all we have heard for bloody weeks is election election election....BUT on this, the day of the election, no mention of it is allowed AT ALL on the radio or TV, until 9.55pm.

Our morning jock on LBC Radio , Nick Ferrari ( just like John Maytham) was at a total loss for words, you could tell it was just killing him to do an entire show with no mention of the elections.

Things you probably would not know:

Dogs may not yet be entitled to vote but they are allowed to come and watch as long as they don't disrupt the vote. According to previous guidance issued by the Electoral Commission, dogs must be in an "accompanying" role rather than "free-range".

In cases where a voter has two or more dogs and will struggle to control them while casting their ballot, polling station staff may hold the dogs' leads. Rural constituencies might have cases of voters riding to the polling station. In such cases, horses and ponies should be tethered up outside. There is no guidance on other animals such as rabbits, ferrets or pot-bellied pigs, so any decision will be at the discretion of presiding officers.

"The Queen lives in the constituency of Westminster but she isn't on our electoral register," Mr Tonkin says. "As head of state, she is part of the institution of Parliament so cannot vote." The same applies to close family members like Prince Charles and his sons. But "minor" royals not so closely related to the Queen may be able to vote.

"Pyjamas are fine, provided they're not indecent. And so is a builder who's stripped to the waist. We want people to vote, we don't want to turn people away," he says. But a line does have to be drawn somewhere, he says. "A topless woman wouldn't be appropriate as voters might get distracted."

Was totally overcome by the whole thing and did a tick instead of a cross.

The Hubby won't tell me who he voted for so i am jolly well not telling him who I voted for either.

Bank holiday weather

Nobody would actually believe this.

It is 7.15pm now and we have blazing sunshine.

So far we have had:

Sun

Rain

Arctic wind

Hail

Sun with wind

Sun with rain

Hail with wind

Wind with sun

No wonder the Poms talk about the weather all the time. It is fucking crazy.

The Hubby and I went for a drink at the pub. I am wearing a vest, a jersey, a scarf and a coat and boots.

Nearly froze my ass off.

Summer se gat