Heath and safety

god forbid we should ever endanger ourselves by buying chicken....

Especially when it is hot

I did realise it was hot as I took it  out of the Tesco oven, and yes, I do know that a whole chicken has bones in it! 

Even herbs come with warnings....

Spring my Arse

Yes indeed, you get lulled into it with  Snowdrops, with Crocuses, with Daffodils, and you think...yay...spring! 

Not so much.

One lovely warm weekend getting to highs of 18C.

Pack away the warm Floofy winter jackets...must admit, against The Hubby's advice.

But , in my defence, The Hubby did change (briefly...hee hee, pardon the pun) from winter to summer undies...

Walk to Tesco today...

Waiting to walk...rain rain rain

Rain suddenly disappears .

Walk to Tesco

Too hot in t shirt and cardi and hoodie and blazer

Arrive at Tesco.

Take off blue hoodie, leaving only blazer and t shirt  and cardi

Shop

Walk home, having decided not to take bus (£2.70)

Cold cold arctic breeze

Stop and put blue hoodie jersey thing back on

5 minutes later, stop and take blue hoodie thing off

Wtf? 

Magic Lappie

Baby B received  many presents of this...

Neither Dr Lauren nor I knew what they were.

After about the fifth gift, we thought we had better find out.

Well...who knew? 

They are apparently a Must Have

They are called Taggies.

Developed by a clever mommy who noticed that babies love the tags on toys/blankies

With much scepticism, we decided to try this out on a Baby B 

Amazing! And she is way younger than the recommended age.

Every day is a school day! 

Who knew? 

Nisa Names

My local corner shop (cafe to the Saffas) is called Nisa.

I think I have previously mentioned that although I have called this particular franchise Neesa, it actually is called Nice er )

I know from working in a shop myself , that you give your customers names.

Sadly, found out today that I am known as Packet Lady.

This is because I have on a few occasions asked for a packet , which has caused much merriment and confusion.

I forget that they are called 'bags' in Pom speak.

So, actually a blessing that they don't call me "Bag Lady" 

I suddenly feel about 80 years old.

Alright?

I have been spending quite a bit of time " Oop North" 

The people there are amazingly  friendly , but I have an issue.

As a greeting, everyone says "Alright?"

I am unsure as to how to respond.

Is it like the South African "Howzit?" And you just say "Howzit" back?

Or does it require a response as in " I am fine, thank you . Are you alright?"

Does one say "Alright. Alright?"

Thus answering and asking at the same time?

Everyone says this, I kid you not.

Taxi drivers pick me up and say "Alright Flower?"

Shop people say "Alright?"

People pass you in the street and say "Alright?"

Sometimes there is no question mark.

Is this then a statement? Do I need to respond? 

Alright

Alright

Or is it Allright? Two l's?

It seems to be one "L"when they say it, but grammatically is it two 'L's?

Am I overthinking this? 

Any help would be gratefully received .

Not and but

The words 'not ' and 'but' are a dangerous combination.

To depoliticise them, let me give an example against myself.

I am not stupid, but I don't understand algebra.

So, any sentence containing "not " and " but"  must make you think.

Take out the " not " and "but"

Think again.

So, that sentence should read " I am stupid" 

Try it again.

I am not racist, but...

I am not homophobic , but..

See? 

Don't do it.

Royal Delivery Indeed

I am well impressed, as they say here.

Yesterday around three o' clock I posted a present for Baby B, small package, three second class stamps, popped into the postbox at the end of our street.

Arrived in Leeds this morning.

Totes Amazeballs ! 

Winter walks

The weather is lovely, truly...the sky is blue, the sun is shining, albeit a bit weakly, no icy wind, and I think we got to at least 8 C today! 

MOTHER is visiting.

She does not walk.

And the glorious weather today, as I perceive it, does not mean the same to her.

I went to the village on the bus with her this morning ( 15 minute walk) , but had to break free and let her take the bus alone to Tesco so that I could take the twenty minute walk there .

Now, in South Africa, this would never have happened. I took the good weather so much for granted.

Here, now that I have become such a Pom, blue skies make me step outside for a walk, I love it! 

I know it's only February and winter is far from over, but I feel quite optimistic. It's lighter in the mornings, no snow at all ( yet) no frost...how bad can it be? 

I really truly hope I don't have to eat these words! 

Going up?

Amazing.

North and South.

This is the road sign once we leave Cambridge.

I am not too sure where "The North " starts.

It's a bit of a joke apparently.

Londoners say it starts North of Watford.

East and West don't seem to figure that much.

I have now spent a few weeks "oop North"

I have been called 'duck' (pronounced dook) , Pet, and most charmingly of all... 'Flower'

Much more friendly folk there.

A lot of the time it's a bit tricky to understand the accent if they speak quickly, but you tend to tune in after a bit. 

Note to self: don't try too hard to blend in.

Saying "ey oop pet " to the postman in a Saffa accent may just be awfully wrong.

Also, I have got used to walking in Cambridge...flat

Walking in Leeds...not so much.

Is colder there. Pack a coat next time! 

Illegal Mail Alert

Indeed, I am both amused and impressed.

MOTHER sent a xmas parcel to Dr Lauren, not the main presents, just some stocking fillers for everyone.

It didn't arrive.

Much to our shock and surprise, as the Royal Mail is usually so good.

Upon enquiring after Xmas, MOTHER was given the parcel back.

 With a stern warning from the Post Office  and an official letter, listing items that are illegal to  post! 

Now, the illegal item was a pack of lighters for The Gorgeous Son.

With naked women on.

Go figure.

He doesn't smoke, but anyway.....

MOTHER lives in a tiny village up in Scotland.

There must be millions of parcels in the system at Xmas time.

If a flipping lighter can cause such a fuss...can you imagine! 

I feel very safe! 

There are many items you can't post, most of which are pretty obvious, but also prohibited are batteries, anything made in foreign prisons (?) I guess that would include Zippo lighters.  Dry ice, nail varnish remover....matches, and oddly, any lottery tickets except UK ones.

Also, hair dye and oven cleaner.

And porn. So MOTHER was illegal on 2 counts. 

Well, now we know .

Hee hee

Bus trip

I had occasion to go into town today to sort out my new iPhone, kindly donated to me by Dr Lauren seeing as she has a new iPhone 5 

Took all day, Lordy! 

But anyway almost done.

Spent quite a while on the bus, and have noted something.

The ordinary folk,  stylish folk, everday Cambridge folk, these are the ones who never speak to me.

Those would be the Village People previously mentioned in other blogs .

The really odd people with  tattoos on their faces, wearing interesting clothes, truly alarming headgear, 

sporting  injuries of a distressing nature, those are the people that speak to me.

I have decided this is due to my mad hair.

And my Saffa Accent which I thought I had lost, but apparently not, as pointed out to me on the bus today by a young man who had a snake tattooed on his face.

Baby B

Well, will you look at that! 

Bethany Rose, after keeping us waiting , eventually arrived! 

Dr Lauren didn't actually tell me that she had gone into hospital 2 days prior to the birth, so that I wouldn't faff.

Really? Me? Faff? 

She and Darling Simon are just lovely parents indeed, and The Gorgeous Son has put his photography skills to amazing use.

I have learnt to say Buggy and not pram or push chair.

Can't bring myself to say Nursery instead of Nursery School.

Do see the sense in saying Johnson's Oil , not Baby Oil ( as in olive oil made from olives, peanut oil made from peanuts ... baby oil made from....

Same for powder, which, by the way is Verboten...as is alcohol swabbing of the cord, baths for new babies, sitz baths for moms and supplementary feeds by bottle. 

They use a syringe. Why did we never think of that? Nipple confusion is a Big Thing.

She is just lovely.

Xmas is coming....

Shocking news...with all the Xmas mail, it is taking TWO DAYS for a first class parcel to arrive...and THREE for a second class.

Even Amazon's one day delivery is taking more than one day.

I was in the local Post Office to send a  few parcels, the queue was about...at worst...10 minutes.

The old chap behind me moaned non stop.

Haven't queued like this since the war!

This would never happen in France (?)

This is what happens when foreigners run the post office

 ( Bangladeshi family who have lived here for 25 years!)

Country is going to the dogs.

I was pretty well behaved for the first 8 minutes, then I told him how it worked in third world countries.

That it was no use bitching about the end of two deliveries a day.

That a ten minute queue was nothing.

And why didn't he move to France.

I said all this very nicely, in a quiet, polite, but probably awfully sarcastic manner.

I then looked on aghast as he shoplifted about 7 items.

He was old.

I didn't want him to be arrested.

I offered the foreign Bangladeshi very nice friendly owner who is always pleasant to me £10 after he had left the shop.

She just smiled.

Said "it's OK" 

RIP Madiba

I feel so very very sad today.

I feel very very far away from South Africa.

Of course, all the family, and Facebook friends and so on...but for me, the worst  thing was going to Tesco, and truly being the only sad person there.

I know it  sounds really pathetic, but I wanted to say... " I AM VERY SAD " 

If I was in South Africa, in Pick and Pay, we would have all been sad together.

Instead, I am home alone, watching Johnny Clegg and crying by myself.

And nobody in Tesco gives a damn . 

Well, indeed, why would they? 

Crazy...I am remembering voting in the first elections, voting ANC in the  Free State, one of very few white people in the four hour queue!

I saw Madiba .

 Just once, but isn't that all you need? 

Baby Watch

Any minute now, I may become an Ouma (Grandma, Nanna, for my Pom Friends)

We are last days down on Baby Watch.

So far, this is what we know...

Baby is a girl!

This is what she looks like....

Thank you " Meet your baby.com 4 D "

We are very excited! 

I always hoped that I would have a brief moment since Dr Lauren was 4 years old that I may know more than her, that when she had a baby she may turn to her mommy for help, wisdom and advice.

Not so much.

It's a bugger having a child who is a doctor specialising in obs and gynae.

Perhaps she will not be so specialised in sleep deprivation.

Surely I must have some input? 

I was a specialist La leche ( damn! Why can I never put the dashes over the e?) consultant for 4 years? 

This seems to count for nothing.

Bugger.

Anyway, we are very excited. 

Thanks to Little Hero Photography...

Baby will be the  most photographed babba ever 

 

Waiting waiting waiting for baby...

Lovely London and Everything Else

I have shamefully neglected this blog, but as I have said before...I am becoming so much of a Pom that there is not quite so much to note anymore.

I shall cover many aspects of Life and Pomdom in this update.

First....

Lovely lovely London...The Fourth Plinth. 

Almost time for the next exhibit, so, luckily saw this one on time.

Large Blue Cock.

Lordy!

Weather update.

Absolutely unbelievable and amazing. 

Blue skies! No snow! No wind! No rain!

(No more exclamation points please.)

The Gorgeous Son, whom we obviously saw on the London Trip.

He has a New Pom Girlfriend.

We have not met her thus far.

Was beginning to wonder if perhaps there was something seriously wrong with her .

But , just as well we didn't meet her this weekend.

The Hubby accidently shaved his eyebrows off with his new beard trimmer.

(Don't even ask)

I was attacked (again) by the Bad Packing Fairy , making me look like a bag lady in mismatching clothes and shoes.

So, just as well as it happens, that The New Pom Girlfriend was otherwise engaged.

The main reason for a The Great London Weekend was a trip The Royal Albert Hall to see Jools  Holland.

It was fabulous.

We stayed in a very fancy schmancy hotel and took loads of taxis.

With Jools Holland, was ( thank goodness, very briefly) Mel C

Now, I am not an expert on the Spice Girls per se, but we all know Posh Spice, Baby Spice, Scary Spice...who remembers this one? 

She was terrible, and it was reported the next day in the press that she wore an "elegant one piece lace jumpsuit "

Rubbish.

It was a pyjama onesie.

But, apart from that , was a fantastic show.

Never ever seen piano playing like that before. 

Ever.

Loved it! 

Hee hee

Weather

It is 4.30

This is a photo taken from my back door.

Now, I know that anyone living in any European country would not find this interesting or noteworthy in any way, it is still a shock to saffas. 

Especially me.

I must say that it is not cold. Halfway through November, and is still t shirt weather during the day.

Day ending at 4 o clock, I hasten to add.

Gravity

I do love movies.

Mostly any movies, horror movies not so much, twighlight  movies...no, I think not, Sci Fi movies...sometimes.

So, Gravity.

Sure you have read the wonderful reviews.

Here is mine.

First of all, it is a big amazing deal for me to see a 3 D movie.

I have only ever seen 2 so far, and there was just me and the children in the cinema oohing and aahing and trying to catch objects , and ducking and diving as they came towards us.

The Hubby could die of embarrassment.

So, Back to Gravity.

3D...10 out of 10

Plot:

Suffice to say that at one stage I actually wished that Sandra Bullock would die.

Reality:

Ha ha ha ha ha 

Let nobody ever tell me ever again that one of my favourite movies, Air Force One , is far fetched.

Or that Olympus Has Fallen is far  fetched

Friendly Folk

Well, seeing as The Hubby has a contract that requires him taking the car to work every day, I walk everywhere, which is A Good Thing.

So, I walk to Tesco (about ten mins each way) 

Or, I walk to the village (20 mins each way  if I am brisk about it)

So, I have lived here coming up to 2 years.

Today was a Good Day.

FOUR...yes, FOUR people actually spoke to me.

Two of these were in the VillageTesco, one was in the post office, and one was in the charity shop.

This is a breakthrough

Fuck these Village  People.

I will break them eventually.

I speak to these people. Mostly they ignore me.

I must say that I do not  speak to them in a mad way...I just say things like : "super weather for November " or " gosh, such a queue today " or " please go ahead of me in the queue" or "fuck you Village People" 

( no, I actually never say that :) 

I do think it all the time though.

How hard can it be to be nice?!

When I go up to Leeds to see Dr Lauren, everyone is nice and friendly.

When I go up to London to see The Gorgeous Son, everyone is nice and friendly.

Come back to Cambridge and they are RUBBISH.

The one exception is Tim The Optician

He is the nicest nice person in the world of nice 

I love him.

I almost wish I had terrible eye problems so that I could consult him every week.

Indeed, if eyes were available on the NHS I would become a stalker and an everyday patient.

I think his wife is his receptionist. She is lovely as well.

And I think his mum is his other receptionist? I love her too.

In the interests of human interaction, the Mad Plymouth Brethren that shout and carry on outside Dear Tim The Optitian's Shop...I did tell them that they were Odd  and Doomed  and Mad.

They took it quite well  I thought.