Yikes!

Will some botanically informed person please tell me WTF these horrible things are?

They grow on trees, and they are like revolting hairy worms . When they have fallen off the trees they look even worse. I am terrified of stepping on them. Today the wind was blowing, and they CHASED me. I ran like hell.

Houses (sigh)

House (B) was quite acceptable.

Am going on Saturday to see Houses C, D, and E ...all in the same road

I am liking this road. I am liking the distance from London (not too far away)

I am HATING the stupid fecking agent who made me go by myself to the house today, again in the fecking rain.

But, on the up side , I have come to some practical realisations.

Houses in England: a case study

Small

Ugly

Expensive

Solution:

Small is easy to clean and heat. You can only have one visitor at a time.

Ugly can become relative. Some houses are uglier than others. I will find a less ugly house.

Kak en betaal. It is a good investment

Gardens in England.

Large and neglected

Non existent

Totally over the top with koi pond, windmill, shed, steppy stones, bird cages and so much kak you cant even move

Solution

Divide into small pieces and fix a bit at a time.

Don't buy a house with no garden

Phone Oxfam

So! Bring it on...I am ready.

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House (B)

This is House (B)

House (B) has 3 beds as opposed to 2 in House (A)

2 bathrooms as opposed to one bathroom which is about the size of a medicine cabinet. No work to be done as opposed to redo the whole bloody house.

Both these houses are in the same street. In fact, House (B) is in a better position. Both houses are on the books of the same estate agency

House (A) is more expensive than House (B)

The stupid agent did not show me House (B)

Is it any wonder I get cross???

So tomorrow I am schlepping all the way out again to see House (B)

Oh...and the final thing..... Guess which kitchen is in House (B)

House (A)'s kitchen...this it IT. I had to squish into a corner to get this part of it in, that's how small it is. There is a sink behind where I was standing.Then there is an afdak in which one would put the white goods.

AAAAARRRGGGHHH KAK!!

Bloody Estate Agents

I hate them....I think I have now witnessed the absolute pinnacle of stupidity. In fact, if it is not stupid, it is downright actual fraud .

I made an appointment to see this house , lets call it House ( A)

This house needs a new kitchen, a new bathroom, new flooring, paintjob throughout, in fact, there is very little that does not need fixing. It has been left in a total mess by the tenants. The garage has no door. The garden is a disaster area. The back garden looks like a squatter camp.

Due to lack of intelligence on my part, House (B) has to be in a separate posting.....

T

Spring

Hopeful signs...

Lunch in town

Is really rather nice having The Famous Brother in London. Although he is a busy busy important bee, he is also a sweetie pie who makes time to see his sister.

So.. we had a lovely lunch in Oxford street today. I went to the loo...and just look at this sign!

Soooo Funny!!

Never be without a camera! Even in the loo.

Check out The Famous Brother's stories from London, I am aiming to be in the background as often as possible. You will recognise me straight away. I will be the fat person blocking out Gordon Brown.

new word

A combi is a Camper Van. Who Knew??

Busker

There is a new busker at Canary Wharf. The last guy seems to have disappeared. Pity. He was the guy who whistled with a stutter. Was very odd, fascinating.

This is the new guy.

He speaks as though he went to Oxford. One wonders how he ended up in a wheelchair in an underground station.

Camera man

The Hubby, after weeks and weeks of deliberation and visiting every shop in London, has eventually bought a camera. Can you see how pleased he is?

Big Night Out

Friday was Lovely Niece Sam's birthday and we were invited to her do at a pub in the shadow of St Pauls.

Off we set. Were stopped in our tracks at the door, when the large Doorman/Bouncer pointed at my feet and said ' No Trainers'

Well, yes, I did see the note about it, but I don't have a trainer...I don't even go to gym.

But, I do have takkies. These takkies are black, and they don't even have laces. But, they are apparently trainers nonetheless. So I was refused entry, The Hubby went mad ( I was quite impressed) and so, with a lot of speaking into radios, another doorman/bouncer arrived, and I was escorted around the corner, down an alley, and in through the kitchen.!!!!

So that nobody would see me arriving in my trainers. Bloody hell. Fuck knows what I will wear should I ever be invited to the palace.

After I had been smuggled in, it was very nice, very loud, very London. We left early so as not to cramp the children's style. We were thrilled to bits to be invited. See? Lovely niece Sam is as lovely as can be.

And then we went to out next engagement, to a pub in Greenwich, to which First friend Kaybee had invited us.

Lordy Lordy.

There was a really good guitarist/singer. A really funny comedienne. A really crap singer, and a comedienne who was a bit, but not totally crap. An existentialist poet who looked as though he may possibly go and kill himself as soon as he finished the reading.. And then, a ....now how do I describe this??

A performance art very odd person who performed 'I am the Walrus' whilst dancing with/juggling/ playing/ drum cymbals and paint brushes. Not attached to a drum kit. No, because then he wouldn't have been able to throw them around the room. Was quite the most oddly fascinatingly weird thing I have ever seen in my life.

Laughed all the way home on the bus.

I do love London

Dear Wee Cottage ...the saga continues

Went back to the Dear Wee Cottage again.....have gone off it.

Took Dr Lauren and Darling Simon and they were somewhat underwhelmed by it. The Greedy Fuckers are now in the process of moving out and the carpet looks worse without furniture on it, and it is way way too close to the street. Well, actually on the street. Which I did know, but overlooked somehow.

So...made the decision yesterday not to buy just yet, but to rent instead. Seeing as all the houses here are still kak ugly and 58 sq m.

Then today, I found Dear Wee Cottage #2.....

Am going to see it this week.

Spring?

I nearly broke my promise and wrote about the weather, am glad I didn't as the brief warm patch disappeared very quickly. Then it came back. Then it went....

I got overexcited about the lurch up to 12 degrees and went out inappropriately dressed and had to buy a jersey (in Monsoon...fab shop!)

Is now too hot to wear the jersey.

St Patrick's Day

The Hubby is home this entire week, due to St Patrick's day, the whole of Ireland closes down.

Is fine, he can be English today, and earn lots of money while the Irish lot are all out getting hammered on Guinness and wearing funny hats.

Here, in England, the day is not such a big deal, not actually a public holiday, but noted nonetheless.

Last night we went to the Yacht Club just down the way, the yacht club on the Thames.

Was very nice. I bought a hat. A very nautical hat. Actually makes me look somewhat like a Nazi which is troubling.

Food...plentiful and really cheap.

Steak, (actually really large steak, bigger than a Spur steak) chips, eggs, peas...and for some strange reason, a mielie. All for £6.50.

The best part of the whole evening was when they announced that for St Pat's Day, they would be having a function on Saturday. They are unable to provide Irish entertainment, but can provide a Norwegian Flamenco dancer/folk singer.

We laughed all the way home.

Canary Wharf

This is Darling Simon's fab new job's building. Cool huh? We are very proud of him, working in the financial capital of London.

Dr Lauren and I have already worked out an escape plan should an airoplane fly in to his building.

Dear Friends

More fabulous than most things that can be imagined, is the time spent with a dear friend, a friend whom one has known for years, and delightfully, unexpectedly, found again in a new country.

Dear Welkom Friend Charlotte, and her lovely daughters Hilary and Abigail, who I have to learn to treat as though they are not actually still 4 and 7 years old...sorry, darling girls, I am sure that soon enough I will realise you are all grown up!

Oh, and all the years of gossip and absolute fun to catch up on!

Saatchie

As always, my favourite gallery, as always....odd, but interesting...

Dyson

May not be the most exciting thing that has ever been published on my blog. But, in the rental, the vacuum cleaner is

a) crap, and

b) broken, so we bought our own one.

These Dyson's are kak impressive vacuum cleaners.

The very fact that I am taking a photo of my new vacuum cleaner makes my life even more sad than you could have ever imagined. But, think about it, everyone has to have a vacuum cleaner.

Not everyone will write about it on their blog, that, I will admit, is a bit pathetic.

Dear Wee Cottage

Hmmm....is still not totally out of the question....

Mothering Sunday

Not Mother's Day...Mothering Sunday. Does that not sound so much more warm and fuzzy than Mother's Day ??

For my first ever UK Mothering Sunday I was Mothered all over with the most wonderful, thoughtful presents and my children with me all day and flowers and an amazing meal in a WOW! restaurant, and a (traumatising) movie at the 02 cinema.

Was Fabulous.

And Darling Simon ALMOST called me Mommy....well, he wrote it on the flowers card, so it ALMOST counts as it was from all three children.

Also, in case anyone is concerned, yes, I did send a very nice card and gift to The Mother, who received it on Friday...the speed of Royal Mail still frightens the shit out of me.

Post it Thursday....BANG! Arrives Friday.

My flowers from the children arrived on Sunday. On a Sunday??? How amazing is that?

And the weather... just saying, not actually a weather report, BUT on the way out to our movie and dinner , did not freeze to death.

HA! Is Spring!

Busy Busy Bee

Bloody hell, have been too busy to Blog! Can you actually imagine that?

For a start,as you know... Darling Simon and Dr Lauren have been staying with us while their kitchen has been installed (more of this later)

I have a FRIEND... ex Welkom friend Charlotte, with whom I have now had 2...count 'em 2...social occasions.

And apart from the fact that I am going to meet Boy George..... my Oh my, what a life I have had whilst I have not been blogging.

Hmmm....maybe this has been my problem all along.

Saturday day out

Lovely day, nice to have The Hubby home, the whole of Oxford street closed for a women's march,

hours spent in Selfridge's, lunch, drinks in pubs, what a wonderful day. Wedding on a bus if you can't read it on the pic...

Oh such fun on the busy busy underground... The Famous Brother has arrived in London today, Dr Lauren and Darling Simon are coming to stay while their kitchen is being installed, had a Fab day out with The Gorgeous Son at the British Music Experience . Oh living in London is wonderful.

Is FUCKING FREEZING.

I wore my leather jacket today. Nearly bloody froze to death.

I had a vest, a t shirt, a jersey, a scarf, a leather jacket , for fuck's sake have you ever seen a cold cow??

Enough already

And it just gets better.....

SA in London

Of all the odd things that have happened to me since I got here, this has to be top of the list. Our local Sainsburys had a visit today from President Zuma.

Full on motorcade, helicopter, police....journalists, and strangely, a full dress officer from the RAF. Also the mayor, and all the top Sainbury execs. Kids from the local school waving SA and UK flags, some very confused customers, and me.

This is not a big Sainsburys. We are , however very 'eco' here in Greenwich, and Fair Trade and all.

All the SA ministers from Water and Environmental affairs were there as well.

Harrods...Selfridges...but Sainsburys?

Spring!

Yes....it was the First day of Spring on the 1st March. All good so far.

Am aware that in Cape Town on the 1st September which is Spring Day, did not always mean that spring was there.

Sure it is the same here, but so far so good....2 days in a row.

This is NOT a weather report, is totally different.

These dear flowers (whatever they are ) are surely a sign of Spring!

They are growing in the little eco park we have here.

Also, see pic of mad kitten up a tree trying to catch poor wee robins.