Housework

Have got this sussed.

This is what I have:

Bathroom wipes

Kitchen wipes

Floor wipes

Furniture wipes

Glass wipes

Oven wipes

Screen wipes (for TV and computers etc.)

Ha!

The kitchen wipes cost £1 for 120. All the above wipes are kak cheap.

It is an amazing way to clean. I love it.

What I don't have is ironing wipes

Pity.

And while I am moaning.....

I am off foxes now. He has taken my flip flops, and one grey shoe.

Note to self: Do not leave shoes outside anymore.

Worse than that, today he brought a bag of rubbish into the garden, a bag of rubbish from somebody who does not recycle! That is the limit! In this bag, (and over most of the garden bed) was a combination of plastic, food and paper! All in one bag! Unrecycled!

I draw the line at recycling other people's rubbish and put it all in the landfill (black) dustbin.

Bloody hell.

Stupid Doctor

You simply will not believe this doctor I went to see. First of all, she made me go to the surgery even though I could not walk, I had to take a taxi and it took me a good 3 minutes to get down the pathway and into the taxi, and was then ripped for £5 for a less than 2 minute trip.

After a cursory examination, she then asked me if I had any accompanying pain in my legs.

No I didn't.

Then she says do I have any accompanying pain in my 'toilet area'

TOILET AREA??

Fucking hell. I think I am quite old enough to understand medical terms relation to the parts of my body that fit into the oval of a toilet seat.

I have now found a doctor that is older than me (hard to do at my age) . I will go and see him this week. If he says 'toilet area' , waterworks (another favourite here) or 'back passage' I will never go to the doctor again until Dr Lauren is qualified.

Birthday Girl

Yes, that's right...this was my birthday treat, going to see Le Mis which I have always wanted to see! It is the longest running musical ever and is still not as old as me. That is a very depressing thought.

Nonetheless, despite being a Le Mis myself about the whole turning 50 thing, Dr Lauren put up with/ignored my bitching and moaning and organised a splendid day, theatre and then a fabulous evening at Cape Town Fish Market with all family and good friends. We had a marvellous time and got the last train back to Surbiton which was quite amusing with a somewhat trashed husband who laughed all the way home.

On my actual birthday I hobbled around like the old person I now am, having put my back out, got tablets from the stupid doctor that put my stomach out (although Dr Lauren did tell me not to have that glass of wine on my birthday, which apparently didn't help) Nonetheless, I was cured by an amazing chiropractor (from Durban) who magically returned me to an upright position.

Anyone who says 50 is the new 40 is talking crap.

Chicken a la yoghurt

Hmm...surprisingly nice, chicken breast baked in cranberry yoghurt.

India

Dr Lauren has been in India for what seems like forever , but they are back tomorrow.

I will be very glad to see her again and to express my joy will give her at least 16 yoghurts.

Rubbish Day!

Tomorrow is Rubbish Day. Yay!

So, I have emptied the inside food (brown ) caddy into the outside (brown, larger) food caddy, and LOCKED the lid. Have replaced all the liners, small blue/green in the small caddy (compostable, available in Sainsburys) larger green in the larger food caddy (also compostable, years supply in cupboard supplied by council)

I have squished as much rubbish as possible into the black wheelie bin, trying to ignore the million billion maggots that are there because of the fox eating the pigeon thing.

Have got all the glass and tins in the green bin, all the paper in the other green bin, and the cardboard in the white bag.

All has been placed in the alley in the order in which it is picked up.

1) wheelie bin

2) cardboard

3) paper and glass

4) food

What a fucking performance.

Joining the Library

Not as simple as you may think

I had to fill in a form. In this form, they asked my origin, as usual I had the odd choices, white British, Black Afro Caribbean, Asian (which means Chinese here, not Indian, (??) and mixed race choices many of which I had never heard. Mixed race is a fascinating concept here, much more fun than SA where everyone is just sommer 'coloured'

THEN, religious, was I buddhist, christian, sikh, no belief....etc....

THEN sexual, am I hetero , gay (female) gay (male) transgender... this was decidedly odd.

Of course you can't refuse to fill it in because in each section it has a 'prefer not to say'

I restrained myself from saying that in SA this would so never happen...but shut up because I really did want to join the library.

I did say 'How odd this form is ' to the very earnest bespectacled young man .

'Well,' he said, very reasonably', we need to know if, for instance ,if we have no lesbian white Scottish readers of Indian extraction, what are we doing? How can we cater for their needs'?

I was speechless.

Walked back home in the rain with the wind behind me , which meant that my bum got soaked.

yoghurt disaster

It is far worse than I thought. I did not buy 4 packs of 4 red fruit yoghurts. I bought 4 packs of EIGHT. I thought there was a lot left even though I have eaten 2 for breakfast every day.

32 yoghurts.

Today I will have eaten 8 so far.

24 to go.

The Hubby is not helping. Yoghurt makes him vomit. He can't even watch me eat it.

I think today can be yoghurt day , I will have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Foxes

I was initially quite delighted at the fox in the garden.

Not so much this morning when the fox had dismembered a couple of pigeons and scattered a million feathers and various body parts over the lawn.

Had to pick them all up (must buy some marigolds)

But where to throw them away? In theory, it should have all gone in the food caddy, but that seemed too yukky.

So I just thought 'fuck it' and put the whole mess in a plastic bag and put it in the landfill dustbin.

And the fox poo as well. Dear lord it stinks!

This fox thing is not working out so well.

Deliveries

And speaking of deliveries, I am quite charmed by the delivery people here. If they come into the house, they either take their shoes off and leave them at the door, or they produce shoe covers and slip them on. How cool is that?

If they unpack something for you, they pick up every shred of paper and teeny piece of polystyrene.

The poms could teach the Saffas a thing or two.

Tesco online

Just as I thought I was so good at my online grocery shopping.....

Today my first order in the wee housie arrived.

2 tomatoes. Just 2. Small ones

Toy Story Carlton Towel. Looks really dof let me tell you, Woody and Buzz and the gang in a grown up house

Worst of all...SIXTEEN yogurts

4 packs of 4.

When I ordered it, I ordered 'red fruit yogurt' That's all I like, strawberry, rasperry, youngberry.

But Oh Boy! I could never have imagined the 'other' red fruits

Prune. Fig. Rhubarb. Cranberry.

The delivery chap arrived promptly at 9, said " Good Morning, there is poo in your driveway, don't worry I didn't step in it"

Lovely.

Course I will have to pick it up, carry it upstairs and flush it because there is no bin for dog poo recycling.

recycling se gat

I am fed up with this recycling lark.

Who knew that the brown (outside) (as opposed to the smaller brown inside caddy) had a lockable lid? Looks like a handle to me. The reason it has a lockable lid is so the foxes can't strew your rotting leftovers all over the pavement on rubbish day.

Learnt that one the hard way!

And when you pick all the gunk up (the week old strawberries were particularly disgusting) you can only put the food back in the caddy, not the 10 meters of carlton towel you used to scoop it up with. (I have no marigolds...translation: yellow rubber gloves)

So then...what to do with the yukky carlton towel? It can't go in the paper recycling (green) container, because that doesn't have a lid. (foxes)

It shouldn't go in the landfill, because it is recyclable. Anyway, I still have so much landfill stuff (medium sized black bin, to be transferred to large wheelie bin) and that bin is only collected every 2 weeks.

I am hoping this will stop being a problem when I stop buying new stuff for the house that comes draped in polystyrene and plastic.

And just to add to my joy, I now have TWO green bins so that I can put bottles, plastic and tins (washed) in one and paper (have to shred the fecking stuff with personal details on) in the other.

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER VOTE FOR THE GREEN PARTY.

And , worse, I have to get a kitchen dustbin in which to throw stuff to be sorted later (by hand, by me...The Hubby is still freaked out by the whole thing) because when it is raining you can't be going into the alley every 5 minutes to throw something away because then the kitchen floor gets filthy.

And if the mop really gets dirty and I have to throw it away...where will I throw it? What is it? Will the wood bit will have to be sawn into little pieces to fit in the brown caddy with food and flower clippings? The metal bit will be landfill..the mop end is textile so it goes in the 2nd green bin with the paper...do you see my issues here?

Bloody hell.

This is where it happens...

Yep! This is my office.

Fabulous Cherry wood desk bought from an antique shop for £250 including delivery. And Chair.

When I say office, I mean really convenient space under the staircase.

Is lovely though.

Clones R Us Niece

Are we not just peas in a pod? Is so lovely seeing my niece and looking into eyes that are IDENTICAL to mine!

A Taste of Home

See? Have not yet totally gone over to the other side.

Sunflowers £6.95 for 5

Maizena and Weet Bix tins....Priceless!

Famous and Gorgeous

Brother and Son playing TV TV.

The Famous Brother has now gone back to SA. I am DEVASTATED.

Wee Housie upate

How so Jolly Homes and Garden am I?????

I have LOVED shopping for a whole new house.

Poor Hubby did give me a budget ....ha ha ha ha!

So the Wee Housie is looking just lovely.

We have foxes in the garden and Skippy and Hoppy the squirrels, and Dave the next door cat, never say there is no wildlife in the UK. (Dave did crap in the service alley which is not so good)

In the pic, I must admit, there is rain...but up until now we have been sitting out every night till 10 in sunlight.

Today has been really rainy with Flash Floods every hour...but I am happy because it makes the garden green.

Latest Sign

Hee Hee. But a bit mean actually...funny though!

This is on our station platform at Surbiton

Bed

It is really nice to be sleeping in a bed after spending 2 weeks on the floor/couch/bed settee.

After being Ms Smartie pants saying 'Oh I can sleep anywhere ' (which used to be true), now my back is knackered and I am truly going to have to go to a chiropractor.

Ooch Ouch,I am really like an old woman.

Oh...I am actually an old woman.

I am like a really sore old woman.

Ow OW Ow.

Wildlife

So Cool! We have foxes, they come into the garden really early in the morning...this means I actually only see them on a Monday morning when The Hubby goes to Dublin at 5.30

I know that foxes have a bad press at the minute since they ate those twins...but I have no problem, having no babies myself, and the next door neighbour has small children that are a bit loud at times so if the foxes chew them a bit I won't mind.

And we have squirrels that are so so sweet. And lots of birds.

Oh my goodness, I am almost in the country here.

The next door neighbours have a ginger cat called Dave that comes and visits.

I do so like it here.

So far.

Recycle

Darling Simon may be very happy that I am now suffering for my past sins.

They are recycling bevok here in Surbiton.

This is what I have.

A green box for tins, paper , plastic (not the lids) and bottles (not the lids)

A brown box for food (cooked and uncooked)

A white bag for cardboard.

A black bin for plastic and other landfill.

A brown caddy for inside , to be put into the brown outside bin. But with different bag inserts.

Garden waste has to be in a bio degradable green bag fetched every 2 weeks, same day as the landfill dustbin.

The other bins are emptied once a week on a Wednesday, but only to be put out an hour before collection.

The large amount of cardboard that I accumulated from buying lots of furniture, had to be collected by an independent agent (Dean) (£40) (twice)

Dean used to be a paparazzi and knows Paul Mc Cartney and said he is a total tosser and as tight as anything,

I didn't ask him how he got from knowing Paul Mc Cartney to picking up rubbish in Surbiton.

FUCK THE PLANET. I HATE RECYCLING

I have had to cut off labels, putting the plastic bit in the black bin, the cardboard bit in the white bag, the paper bit in the green thing.

The Hubby gets the whole deer in the headlights thing every time he has to throw anything away. So he just puts it all on the kitchen table . (£95 from Princess Alice Charity store, inlaid italian ceramic tiles)

Surbiton Bliss

I am aware that I have not blogged for ages....but I have been VERY BUSY.

Moving is hard work.

Never mind, all is lovely now, the wee housie looks marvellous.

Apart from when The Hubby came home for the weekend and bought The Biggest TV in the world, with a million cables, thus totally fucking up my nice lounge.

Still and all, it is a really nice TV with all the TV stuff that matters. The Hubby kissed it goodbye as he left for Dublin. I think he will miss it more than he will miss me.

And on the 17th, my coffee table arrives and I will be able to hide all the cables.

It is nice here. We can walk to the river, walk to the station, walk to the shops. In South Africa these would all be Very Bad Things, but here they are Very Good Things.

How odd.