Mission Control

This is my workstation. I have my laptop, my kindle, my cell phone, my itouch, radio, house phone and medicine.

I have a lap tray and a bankie for my foot.

I am no longer in constant pain. All the swelling seems to have gone down. In 2 weeks time I will have my stitches out and a new cast put on.

Could be worse I guess.

I am now going to stop whining about my leg.

Luckily I have read 'What Katy Did' and learned some valuable lessons. I think I shall read it again.

Home

An entire week spent not moving from my hospital bed apart from half an hour's training on crutches, has left me a weak as a kitten.

I always got that song wrong..."Look at me...I'm as helpless as a chicken up a tree..."

I digress.

So not actually as easy as I thought. Stairs are a big problem. I can go up and down on my bottom.

Oh get me! I am such a Pom! I mean bum.

There is a small landing at the very top of the (steep ) stairs. I cannot get up and down on my crutches. I have to pathetically CRAWL to the toilet.

If the heating is on I cannot pull myself up using the towel rail, it's too hot. Have to haul myself up using the toilet . I am expecting to get stronger soon.

My foot cannot at any time touch the ground, and I have to elevate it for 55 minutes in the hour.

It is Day 3 of 6 weeks. I have had to make some plans.

SA Sam is staying at the moment to help look after me. I have sent her to get another pair of crutches. One for upstairs, one for downstairs. And a block of wood to fill in the big step on the landing.

I managed to have a bath and wash my hair with the help of The Hubby. I was quite impressed at how he managed to haul me out of the bath with such ease! He almost drowned me washing my hair, but that was fine. He held the bowl for me to spit in brushing my teeth . In the bath. Disgusting, I know, but no other way at the moment.

For better or for worse.

I think he is getting fed up with me.

I may have mentioned once too often that the carpet needs vaccuuming and the skirting boards are dusty as I crawled along the floor.

NHS

All in all, a good experience.

1. Emergency procedures...A+

2. Doctors A+

3. Nurses ..the Irish nurses were lovely, the Polish, Thai and SA ones were crap B-

4. The Facilities and equipment, pretty damn impressive A+

5. The food. There is no rating low enough for the food.

Breakfast was bread and marmalade (no toast due to health and safety rules) OR cereal (no good for me, I don't have milk) OR porridge (I tried it, it was like melted cardboard)

Lunch and supper were much the same. Vegetables were only one step away from being liquid.

They asked me if I wanted gravy on my lasagna. I think that says it all.

My Dear Friend Gabi used to say this about coffee bought en route to Jo'burg, if you add sugar, it's coffee, if you add salt, it's soup. That pretty much covers the coffee and tea.

Visiting hours are from 3 to 8. No problem for the nurses, they just carry on with their duties , regardless of visitors.

Traumatised The Hubby by jabbing me in the stomach with my daily injection, amused the entire ward's visitors by asking me loudly if I had moved my bowels.

Whilst on this subject, No , I did not. I had no intention of doing so either. Bad enough having to use a flipping bedpan to pee. Mind over matter. 7 days is not a long time.

Dr Lauren

Very impressed with the NHS and Dr Lauren.

Usually a patient is not given very much information about what is going on, but Dr Lauren was on hand to calm things down and explain the whole procedure, check out the x rays, read my charts..she was fantastic. Although, there also is such a thing as too much information.

She distracted me from my pain while waiting for x rays by raiding the supply cupboard in the room we were in and making me a balloon man using an inflated surgical glove, tongue depressors, temperature ear nozzles and surgical tape.

When they straightened the bones in my ankle, she told me what drug they were going to use, and how fab it was and that I wouldn't remember the pain. She was quite right. I did , however, remember having 3 legs and there being a dog in the proceedings somewhere....

Anniversary

Started off really well with the gift of an eternity ring from The Hubby and ended up in A & E.

You may think these two things are not linked, but indeed, I was on my way down the stairs to show SA Sam the ring when I missed the last step, and as most of you know, broke 3 bones in my ankle.

I swore mightily,and , for some odd reason , apart from 'fuck' , all in Afrikaans.

Poor SA Sam and the hubby panicked and screamed at the sight of my turned the wrong way round foot, but managed to pull themselves together after I told them to phone 999.

The ambulance arrived in less than 5 minutes. The nice ambulance men gave me gas and air before wrenching my foot straight. Unable to find a vein, they then gave me morphine. Luckily they did not speak Afrikaans.

Naked except for the pink floofy dressing gown off I went to the hospital.

The Hubby came with in the ambulance, quite thrilled by the wee seat he strapped himself onto, he told me was just like in 'Thunderbirds.'

I inhaled more gas and air.

ironing..

Nothing too good for my Darling Hubby's ironing..ironing water! Bloody hell! Who would think?

Hubby is is Dublin, Dublin air staff are on strike, so I am hoping he will make it home tonight, seeing as it is our wedding anniversary tomorrow.

http://www.firebox.com/product/2481/The-Wand-Remote-Control?aff=1721&gclid=CI6tuuOov6YCFQ4f4Qod4l1yHA

This is what I have bought him for a pressie, (geek pressie) plus a dinner at Bel Canto, where all the staff are opera singers and sing the way through your meal....sounds good to me.

Job Seeking?

What does the assistant do?

Lordy!

Blue Monday

Apparently , this very Monday, the 17th Jan, is OFFICIALLY the worst day of the year. It is the day that the holiday season is over, the weather is kak, and the credit card bills come in.

It actually is almost an official holiday , like Tweede Nuwe Jaar.

I didn't know this. Actually , I don't buy anything on credit, so not an issue..the weather is crap anyway, so not an issue..school means nothing to me, so again...

Was actually quite a good day.

So , now that I know, SOLIDARITY!

Next year, I will have a crap day.

This year, was fine

News

I hate to be a Saffa that always and forever goes on about the crime rate etc etc..... but, last night on the BBC News here....Top Stories...

3 people killed in a motor accident just outside Heathrow.. and a guy jailed for kicking a puppy.

Both very serious and sad stories...but jeez!

Dr Lauren gets VERY ANNOYED when I talk about these things, and say that life is cheap in SA...but really...

Dinner parties

Dr Lauren and Darling Simon are coming for dinner after their 15 mile walk (preparation for Peru Mountain Climbing)

So, we are having Roasted Cod, (sustainable, Waitrose, Line caught) with barley, 'erbs, chopped almonds, cinnamon, lemon...baby leaf rocket salad with avo. (avo's 5 for £1 in Kingston market) and then to follow, HOME MADE Blood orange Granita with Vanilla ice cream (Cornish, made with clotted cream ) and for the non dairy people (me and Dr Lauren), Madagascan Vanilla yoghurt (made from Channel Island milk)

Darling Simon may protest about the cod, but I have done all in my power to make sure it is acceptable. Dr Lauren said that he may argue no cod is sustainable....I am taking the risk! Brave me!

Bit more simple tomorrow when The Gorgeous Son and the Sams come for dinner... Topside joint (£11.10) Yorkshire puddings and veg, followed by designer cupcakes. (not actually designed by me)

And while I was on a roll at Waitrose, I bought fresh olive blossom and cotton fragrance inspired by nature ironing water for The Hubby's shirts.

Politics...

Having very proudly voted in the last election, I really am trying to be informed and keep up to date with politics in the UK.

So, in Oldham, they are holding the very first by election of the coalition era.

These are 3 of the parties standing.

Monster Raving Loony Party

Candidate: The Flying Brick

Bus-Pass Elvis Party

Candidate: David Bishop

Pirate Party of the United Kingdom

Candidate: Loz Kaye

This is not a wind up. These are real parties.

They are MAD here.

Geyser

In SA we had hot water all the time seeing as we never switched off the geyser. here...not so much.

It's fine, and probably a lot more practical and cost efficient, BUT if you feel cold and want to have a bath, you have to switch the water on first. Is fine, actually we could have the water switched on all the time, but no, am trying to be a pom, so don't do that.

Only at the very very end of Feb when it is soooo cold and you have had enough...then you want hot water at your beck and call. Now, it is not so bad, and I am quite prepared to wait until after 7pm to have a bath....of course I could have the heat and water on 24/7, but am not prepared to be such a sissy..;.

Jesus fuck! What am I talking about! We actually can afford to heat ourselves.

Bloody hell.

Am switching on the water RIGHT NOW and having a bath.

Stupid poms

2011

Happy New year!

I realise I have been neglecting this blog somewhat... the theory is that I am just about a pom now, and no longer need to blog, but every time I say this I get e mails telling me to go on.....

So...bear with, bear with... I will try to carry on.

So! Happy New Year and all. If, a hundred million years ago, in Welkom, anyone would have told me that I would be spending the new year in my fiftieth year in a pub, with Welkom Friend Charlotte, in London, smoking weed.....well! Who knew??

Amazing..and quite wonderful actually.

Today, I went to the hairdresser, Had a HALF PRICE voucher...still cost me £40. And, although my hair is OK, I do look like Justin Bieber which is not a good look actually. Seeing as he is 14 and I am 50.

Luckily, I have not yet gone terribly grey, just have a few silver hairs, otherwise I would be bankrupt, cannot think what a colour would cost if a cut and blow is so expensive...actually, they say 'cut and style' here.

My new hairdresser, 'Danielle' has been to SA 5 times. She goes to Middleburg.

How odd is that???