Silent killers

I do love listening to the radio here, but they have ads on at the moment that are really troubling.

Asbestos, is , apparently, a silent killer.

4 plumbers a week die from asbestos exposure. I have this vision of dead plumbers all over the place.

5000 artisans a year in the UK drop dead from this terrible scourge.

All I can think of are all the South African houses with asbestos roofs, asbestos heaters, asbestos wall filling, asbestos garages.... is a wonder I survived so long.

Thank god I'm not a plumber.

Again with the signs

The Hubby says these are signs for stupid people.

They sure as hell make me laugh...and I would NEVER touch anything that had this sign attached!

Whereas I always want to touch an electric fence to see how bad the shock could actually be....so maybe these signs are for people like me.

Well, yes, I think they are.

This one is Kak funny though!

Weather Report again

Today is just lovely. Cloudy and sunny at the same time.

This is whatI am wearing.

Cami. Long sleeved T shirt . Pashmina.

Ha!

Not cold.

We are going down the road to the Pilot Inn for Sunday Lunch.

But....there is hope

Look at this dear wee house, I am quite charmed by it. Hope the agent is not a total tit. Am now totally up on the estate agent terms used , so know what to expect. This ad contains the following, which I will interpret for you.

'Very good decorative order throughout'.....means crap wallpaper and carpets

'Front aspect sash windows'....no double glazing

Victorian style radiators'.... have not worked since Victoria was on the throne

Off road parking'.....your front garden is tarmacked

'Close to local shops'....smell the fish and chips

'Luxury fitted kitchen'...has a nice stove.

The phrase I like very much is 'keen to sell' ...means negotiable

And wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles, 2 bathrooms.

Not that I am cynical or anything.

Hope they take the statues away with them.

Things that (alarmingly)have become normal

All these things are now just par for the course. Laundry drying in the house, cupboards (ha ha ha ha ha ) The Hubby working from home, Coat Rack, Laundry in a cupboard.

Aaaaargh! Come back Egret street, all is forgiven.

How did I ever think it was quite a small house? It was fucking 390 square meters.

Another weather report

Scattering of snow in the sunshine this morning on my patio furniture and in the garden courtyard.

Sunny, but cold.

Wore cami, blouse, cardi, scarf and black woollen cape thingie (Woolworths SA) socks, boots.

No gloves. Hands nearly froze.

King Prawns

These are KING PRAWNS. In my left hand (facing out) is a KING PRAWN. In my right hand is a slice of lemon (for scale)

This is a side plate. The reason why my hands look so spastic is because it's hard to hold something so small.

The chopped up stuff in the middle is cucumber.

£5.40. The Crusted Pipe, Covent garden.

Bloody Hell

hotcoldhotcold

cold cold cold then the heating came on and now the Big Pink Floofy Dressing Gown is too hot.

???WTF??

This was taken at 16h00.

Same day

The white stuff is snow

That is my arm.

All I did was go outside to get some diet coke for The Hubby and it started to snow.

There is something wrong with this weather.

Sunshine

Lovely lovely sunshine.

Is it warm? Not a bugger.

Just bright.

But I do think we are on the up now, as it is no longer dark all bloody morning, and is light till later.

For example...

Today: Sunrise 07h43

Sunset 16h44

see ? Amazing. Almost like a normal day. You may have noticed my idea of normal is changing rapidly.

London

4°C

Current: Cloudy
Wind: N at 19 km/h
Humidity: 61%

Fri

5° | -2°

Sat

3° | -2°

Sun

4° | -1°

Mon

5° | -1°

The photo I posted today was taken at 15h00,

it is 15h45 now and still sunny.

It was raining at 13h00 when I went to the shop.

Thus, the pictorial representation given for Friday is a bit unfair.

Hope the pictorial representation for Saturday is good for go.

Pavement Special

These are all over the pavements...pity they don't do one for spitting and chewing gum

Strategic Tubing

Now that I am a local, I am getting ever so smart with the tube.

Not only doI know where to go, but I know which carriage to get on to let me off exactly at the exit or escalator.

I can do this for many stations.

So clever.

Central heating

I still have not got the hang of this. At the moment it is set to go on at 6am for an hour, and then again at 6pm for an hour. It does not strictly adhere to this, so is often a surprise.

But, it is too hot if it is on for any longer.

So far anyway. May need to review this.

Last night I went to bed late due to new computer game. (Farm Frenzy 3 American Pie)

It was COLD.

I had made a warm spot in the bed and knew if I got up to switch the heating on I would freeze on the way.

Luckily I am as fat as a pig or would have frozen to death.

This is just like living in Welkom.

So tonight I am going to put the heating on for an hour just before I go to bed.

Also have bought a pink floofy full length dressing gown (£19.50, Marks and Spensers.)

Today I wore a t shirt, cardigan, scarf, coat and gloves.

Still cold.

Bought new clothes, unfortunately not warm ones. And dead sea salt scrub from charming handsome Israeli guy.

Is Amiga Jane's fault. She made me shop.

More signs

How do they know? Are all the pedestrians slow? In this particular spot?

Agents again

They just get worse. And worse and worse. I hate them so much. Like you cannot believe.

There are now another 3 agencies that I will never ever work with again. Douglas Allen being at the top of the list.

How hard, how hard can it be to take me to see more than one house at a time??

This is driving me insane. I TELL these agents what I want, where I want to go, and when I want to go and they say 'No'. They just say 'No'

To Me.

They say NO to me.

I am not so actually used to this. I am used to estate agents being SCARED of me.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???

Just 'No'

They simply do not give a fuck.

Buy a house, don't buy a house, who cares??

Take a taxi...see you there. Far from the station? No car? Sorry for you. Not my problem.

And we actually had to do that. To take a taxi from the station to the house. And it was a crap house anyway. Which, if they were actually proper estate agents, they would never have dreamt of showing me that stupid house.

I say.'I don't like this house, I need it smaller, bigger, higher, further, better, whatever...

They say

'Am I bovvered?' and followed by 'TheLook'

The ' Fuck off you are making me have to actually work for a living as an excuse for an estate agent ' look

I hate them

so so so much

you have no idea

The Hubby says it is not helping every time I say

'I would NEVER employ you as an agent'

He is becoming a master at 'the look'

The 'Agents have no idea who the fuck you were in Somerset West' look

Because they don't care.

Also does not help when I tell them that a smart car is a BAD estate agent car, nope, they don't give a shit.

I saw a house that was almost perfect. This was when I realised that The Hubby and I are a million miles apart in what we want.

At this stage in the Estate Agent experience, The Hubby can find his own stupid agent and his own stupid house.

This is where we are.

The Hubby, who in his entire life has never even snipped a blade of grass, wants to have a garden.

I do not ever want to see a garden ever again in my life, although I would do a balcony or a patio.

(in case I ever need to have an emergency cigarette)

I want an easy lock up and go apartment

The Hubby wants a stately home

We are never going to find a place to live.

This week I am going to Weybridge

(Once had a dirty weekend with someone in Weybridge, long long time ago, don't remember much outside of the bedroom, but there was a lot of green as I recall. Through the window. (Details and names available upon request)

Amiga Jane is also looking in that area , which is so so fabulous . Maybe we could be neighbours?

And also Dr Lauren has her own ideas about where we should live.

Tough

Fairies

It is a constant source of amazement to me to live in a secular county after living in SA.

Religion here is treated as a sort of, 'well if you do believe in fairies in the bottom of the garden, or god, or allah or whatever, fine, jolly good, but do rather keep it to yourself because it is a bit silly'

If there is an issue raised on talk radio...I have found the London equivalent of 567 Talk radio, called LBC. (London's Biggest Conversation) (look it up on google, it's a good station.)

On 567, if there was ever a religious issue, everyone that called in would be of a religious persuasion, here...it is amazing! More people believe in Santa than believe in god.

Absolutely no patience for religious opinions infringing on anything mainstream.

But, still, everyone has a right to their beliefs, just as long as they keep it to themselves.

Suits me.

There are laws about infringing on the rights of atheists

About bloody time

Cousin Jane

How exciting a day did I have? To see my Cousin Jane and meet her hubby?

Was Fabulous!

I don't have much family, so it is really good to be with the family I do have.

I love them.

And do you know? it must have been 10 years since we had seen each other and was as though we had never been apart.

I am going to brave the wilds of The North and go and visit all the family there.

Soon.

Cold

It is cold.

I know , temperature wise, celcius (if I must) wise, it is not actually colder than it was when it was snowing. In fact, it is quite a few degrees warmer.

I AM NOT WARMER.

Yesterday I was cold.

I had to get in the bath when I got home.

Admittedly, I did wear just a cami, a long sleeved t shirt (Pick 'n Pay) a scarf and a blazer. This is not enough.

Today I wore a cami, a long sleeved T shirt, JERSEY , a scarf and a blazer.

Again...cold

Is that fucking blazer.

Oh! And today I ate a chestnut

A 'chestnuts roasting on an open fire' chestnut.

The open fire was actually a wee fire at a stall opposite Selfridges.

Hmm..what did it taste like??

A cross between Cauliflower and a Macadamia nut.

Sounded much better in the xmas carol.

Terror Alert

London has been upgraded from 'substantial terror attack' to 'severe terror attack', which means an attack is 'highly likely'

What the fuck does that mean??

All day yesterday on the tube I was nudging The Hubby and saying 'Defcon 3 Defcon 3 ' everytime I saw something suspicious. I think this stated to get on his nerves a bit.

Lucky this happened after the koran reading chap on the tube.

I shall be aware of all around me until we are returned to 'substantial'

Tricky though...really tricky. The new threat appears to be a whole bunch of women trained to be suicide bombers.

I will check out their eyes. One shifty look and I pull the emergency cord on the tube.

Haiti

At school, many many years ago...we said High-eat-tea.

Everyone else in the world says Hay-tea

Thank you Sister Cyril geography teacher.

Duh

Wedding Anniversary

So....The Hubby got a taxi to pick us up from home and whisk us to the West End for a show and dinner.

I cannot tell you how thrilling it was the moment James Earl Jones walked onto the stage, and he was truly great.

Also, Phylicia Rashad (Claire Huxtable to us SA's!), and her sister Debbie Allen (Fame) was the director...and then it goes on and on...Adrian Lester from Hustle (he was fab!) and Nina Sosanya from Love, Actually...I was totally starstruck.

Then dinner and home. Really good.

28th Anniversary. Pretty impressive. I am so not moving out of London.

Dr Lauren

has not been available all day...probably because she has been doing an oesophagastomy? A thing where you remove an oesophagus.

When she was a wee wee baby , I never thought she would be performing this procedure.

Lordy lordy.

On the way home

Canary Wharf in Rush Hour.

I love it! I have no problem with the million billion people squished into the tube. Is always interesting.

Today, next to me, was a person singing aloud from the koran. On the tube!! How could this ever be a good thing? What was he thinking?

Thought to myself...if I am going to die, at least my hair has been done by Tony &Guy.

Was glad I had only one stop. Would have hated to fuck up a £70 cut and blow.

Bought a £4 colour from L'oreal.....if Cheryl thingie can do it, so can I. Buggered if I am going to pay Luke (cute as he is) a million billion £'s to colour my hair.

Toni & Guy

Amazing how much happier you feel after having a Toni &Guy thing.

Floofy floofy take off your coat, make you coffee, give you magazines,

make your hair look nice......

One more moan

Starting over and buying all new stuff is great. Decided to repent for all the years I bought Pick n' Pay pillows for R19.99. Splashed out big time, paying for 2 pillows what I probably paid for a SA mattress. Bought Dunlop pillows with memory.

Unfortunately my pillow has never forgotten the night it spent squished between the mattress and the head board.

Expensive mistake. The Hubby will not swap.

Anyway, I am no longer going to complain. I am taking advantage of the wonderful things this country has to offer besides crap estate agents and weird pillows. And sissy babies who whinge about the weather on the radio.

I am going to Toni & Guy.

and while I am at it...

Celcius.

What kind of a stupid word is that?

And Vaccination.

I do not know what they are TALKING about half the time.

And the fact that the whole country shuts down when it snows.

Ohmigod it's snowing?? What will we do?? What will we do???

If it snowed in South Africa, now that would be suprising.

Here, not so much.

Bloody hell

Buying a house?

Stupid stupid stupid Fuckwit agents in this country. How anybody actually ever buys a goddamn house is beyond me.

We had an incredibly bad estate agent experience today... unbelievably worse than stupid or ...well...words fail me.

No agents here work on a Sunday. There is no such thing as a show house. The Hubby is not here during the week. So now I have to go and see the house I really want to see, the only house so far that I may consider buying, on Monday without The Hubby.

Stupid agent

No wonder everyone hates estate agents. I hate them . And I am one.

Just wait...I am going to work as an agent here. As soon as I buy a house. I will revolutionise the industry.

It's not as though any houses are even that fabulous seeing as they are all so small unless you want to spend 2 million pounds. £500 000 in Greater London still does not get you 2 bathrooms.

And not one agent knows the square meterage of the houses they are selling. Not a clue. Even if I beg for even a ballpark figure...not a fucking clue.

I HATE the houses here.

And what passes for an almost normal house is called a 'Bungalow'

How stupid is that?

Stupid fucking country.

weed

Yeah...hah hah hah is not the same as smoking cigarettes.

Much more fun ACTUALLY

hee hee

Gosh...am hungry...gotta go....

Silly signs

Just when you think you've seen everything......

Weather Report

The snow has gone. It is raining. This is kak weather. It's exactly like winter in Cape Town. Except in Cape Town I wouldn't have to walk to the shop to buy bread.

Nonetheless, this, despite the weather is a Good Day. Amiga Jane and I are having lunch, The Hubby made it home from Dublin, all the housework is done, most of my SA tax, Dear Dear Friend Kim phoned me from Jo'burg, The Famous Brother is coming to London for 6 months...what more could I ask?

3 o' clock

Snowy Day Out

Decided to have a tourist day out in snowy London. Batteries in camera ran out and feet got wet in stupid boots, but still, a lovely day!

The slushy snow that you have to walk is in yukky. Also, you have to take teeny tiny little steps to avoid falling over.

But all worth it..Oh it is beautiful!

Household tip

This is quite the funniest thing ever! Read it in the free newspaper we get on the tube.

While it is cold and snowing...defrost your freezer. Put the food outside in the snow.

I did this, laughing away to myself as I placed the chicken breasts, ice cubes and fish fingers in the snow. How very clever!

hee hee

Also put the diet coke cans in the snow...makes them much colder than in the fridge.

Smoking confession #3

Dr Lauren said it would be cathartic to confess to my latest smoking misdemeanour.

So, yes, I did smoke. And yes, I have been back to Smoking Councillor Kerry. And yes, I am back on the not smoking. And yes, it is kak. And the cigarettes I did smoke were wonderful. And no, I do not really want to be a smoker.

Otherwise I would have not confessed to Dr Lauren, who I must admit was very very nice. As was Smoking Councillor Kerry.

Made me feel really really bad.

Fuck

Chewing Gum

Lordy lordy, just after I had written about the chewing gum on the pavement, you will not believe what happened!

There is to be a 15p tax levied on chewing gum to pay for the cleaning up thereof. I like this. You have no idea how much gum is on the pavements...it is unbelievable. Imagine one square meter of pavement.....at least 10 splots of gum per square meter. I kid you not. These poms are pigs. Why do they not swallow the gum? Or put it in the bin? There should be £1 levy, more even. (I will switch to mints and yes MOTHER ,I swallow my gum even after all you said it would do to me)

I think there is so much gum because all the ex smokers now chew gum. Yeah. So jolly well serves them right. Butts are easier to clean up than gum.

Snowed out

The Hubby indeed did not get back from Dublin, and after much trudging around in the snow he found refuge in a very fancy hotel so was a bit difficult to feel too dreadfully sorry for him.

All airports were up and running the next day so he did make it home, having lost one glove and his hat.

Scott of the Antarctic.

Talking of Scots , MOTHER is less than impressed that it was -23 up in Scotland today.

Must admit that is a bit harsh.

Minus 7 is as bad as it has got here.

The snow is still nice and crunchy and white, except next to the roads where is is black and slushy and horrible. And next to our bus stop where there is a large trail of blood which looks quite startling.

Usually the pavements in London are covered in spit (yukky) and chewing gum, so it all looks rather nice just now.

(notice I am using 'just now' in the way the Brits would use it)

A lot of the snow has frozen and the paths that have not been gritted are very slippy. I am fine , seeing as I have my Doc Martens which have fantastic grip. (and so they should for the price)

Other people do not have such sensible shoes and they slip and fall which is really funny.

I saw a woman today do a slide of about a metre , waving her arms in the air and coming to a stop into a wall. Was hilarious. Am learning not to laugh out loud so just make little snorking noises into my gloves.

Friends

Cousin Jane is coming to visit this month. Also Amiga Jane arrives this week from Argentina. Have First friend Kaybee and son with whom i had a lovely lovely day yesterday.

Am quite overcome with all this socialising!

Oh bugger forgot fishcakes whilst doing blog and have set off smoke alarm

They do say you should test it once a week.

Snow snow snow

It is REALLY snowing. Is lovely.

I went for a nice walk in the snow, I particularly like walking in new snow where nobody else has left footprints. I took a few detours to do this very thing.

As usual I was the only person wearing sunglasses, I find it keeps the snow out of my eyes. Am sure it will catch on eventually.

I forgot about gloves again, but it was not that cold. Sissy baby poms look like telly tubbies, no idea how they can actually walk in all those clothes.

Am getting a tad worried that The Hubby will not be able to return from Dublin tonight.

Also am worried that my internet grocery shopping may not arrive. Sure it will. Hope so. No food in the house.

MOTHER phoned. She is not impressed with the snow.

Spoke to Dear Aunt Margaret Up North.

Apparently they all blame me for the snow.

I don't care.

Is winter. It SHOULD be snowing.

I like it

A lot

so far

Still on a serious note

Living here, I am much more aware of the war in Afghanistarn (as they call it )

So far there have been 240 boys killed in the war .

One morning on the radio, the presenter simply read out all the names and ages. It went on and on and on and reduced me to tears. The relentless list of names.

Considering there are at least 32 000 people murdered in SA per year, can you just imagine if someone was to read the names out?

The war in Afghanistan started in 2001.

Every life is important here. A good lesson to learn I think.

Big Issue

I have a Big Issue vendor called Danielle who is from Romania. He is still singing Jingly Bells even though I pointed out to him that xmas is now over. I like supporting the Big Issue people. The 'vulnerably housed' as they call them here.

Here are 3 examples of Vulnerably housed people. How can you not support this cause?

Tom

Tom's life fell apart when his new step dad made him leave home. He sofa surfed (don't you love that???) but his friend's parents would not let him stay for long. Aged just 18 with no source of income he was reduced to sleeping on park benches

He could not sign on because he didn't have an address

(this seems to be a failing in the social security system)

Lee

Lee's parents split when he was very young and his mother brought home a number of men over the years, Lee was abused and neglected. He was learning a trade but his mother sold his equipment to fund her lifestyle. he was forced to leave home after suffering abuse from his mother and the men in her life

Sophie

Sophie's home life was physically and emotionally draining:from a young age she was primary carer for her mother who is clinically depressed and schizophrenic, and her grandmother who was at home during the final stages of cancer. Throughout , she suffered abuse at the hands of her father. She is 17.

Is terrible. So £1.50 a week is not a lot for a magazine.

Bloody hell

Shopping Trip

Needed to shop. Decided to shop am rather than pm when it is dark. Went outside onto the patio, and waved arms up and down (don't know why I do this, is some kind of weather tester)

Was fine.

No coat needed. Put fleece on over T shirt. Boots. Scarf and gloves. Sunglasses.

Left flat. Not cold. Took off gloves. Unwound scarf. Smiled at Sissy Baby Poms. Went around corner. Shade. Fucking hell. Put gloves back on. Wound scarf round face. Walked faster. Cold cold cold, turned corner ..aaah...sun. Nice warm sun. Took off gloves. Unwound scarf.

Shopped.

Devised trip home in only sunny bits. Only one shady bit, ran like hell (fulfilling New Years Resolution to start running.) Stomped frozen puddles. Smash Smash Smash. Ignored people on passing bus looking at me. Round corner, back into sun. Sun position changed since I left flat. Through the Millennium buildings. Sun Shade Sun Shade Sun Shade. Too many people around to run, walk, run , walk. There is a limit to how stupid I am prepared to look.

Heating in flat had inexplicably come on in absence, was very glad.

Jack Frost

Is my habit to open the doors early (ish) in the morning to let some fresh air in.

Have today discovered what that line from the xmas carol,' Jack Frost nipping at your Toes' means.

Ow Ow Ow is sore.

Perhaps the time has come to either wear socks or keep the door closed.

chocolate

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am not a big chocolate eater.

Even people who do not eat chocolate still do the pre menstrual chocolate eating.

I have discovered the most fantastic chocolate in the entire world.

Imagine.

Top layer..... the top part of a Chocolate Log

Middle layer... the top part of a Bar one

Bottom layer... the bottom layer of a bar I have forgotten the name of but is rice crispies in chocolate

I have eaten 4 of them so far and have 3 in waiting

Is called Double Decker

Margarine

There is no such thing here as Margarine.

Amazing.

No idea

Is either butter...or 'spread'

Even Floro, which does exist here, is not margarine.

Is no such thing.

January

Is getting a tad cold. Today I went to the shops and this is what I was wearing.

Bra. T Shirt. Fleecy jacket (Pick 'n Pay)

Knickers . Leggings (Yakira)

Socks . Boots.

Not actually enough clothing.

It looked warm seeing as the sun was shining. Sun does not equal warmth.

I was fine apart from my hands which were bloody cold seeing as I did not have gloves.

The puddles were frozen. I stomped them. Stomp stomp stomp.It was strangely satisfying.

Stomp Stomp Stomp.

Looked up from the stomping and saw First Friend Kaybe's son looking at me.

Waved.

Is fine.

Am mad person

Who cares

A New Year

Ah. A New Year. In a new country.

Lordy Lordy.

So far we have cleaned and tidied the whole flat.

Looks fabulous.

The Hubby has set up a whole accounting thing to track our finances.

Yay.

New years Resolutions.

Hate them.

But , nonetheless, have made some.

1) Will try to write down all cash transactions in the newly purchased cash book .

2) Will try to do one hour on the Wii fit each day.

3) Will seriously think about starting running. Will seriously try to start tomorrow.

4) Will try really hard to do an alcohol free January to regenerate liver

5)Will try really hard to become a Pom.

6) Will try to understand British Politics before the elections so I can cast an informed vote

7)Will look for a house to buy

8) Will still not smoke. Will try to like it. Will still see any 'found' cigarettes as a bonus.

9)Will make new friends

10)Will stop translating Rands to Pounds.

Auld Lang Syne

New years Eve in London is fabulous. For one thing there is no confusion over the New Years Eve/ Old years Eve thing we have in SA.

Everyone in London, and their visitors and family go to the Embankment to watch the fireworks.

This involves leaving at about 9pm to get on the tube, and then to find a place amongst the other 100 000 people who are there. (either side of the Embankment is fine, and then the rest of the million people are in Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus) Cold cold cold......waiting waiting waiting...

And then...at 12 o' clock..Big Ben strikes..and the fireworks start!

The atmosphere..the gees.. the people!

Is fabulous.

I actually was watching on TV in my pyjamas in a warm flat on the couch.

But still...

Happy New Year!