Weather again

So, today was good. No rain, no wind, no frost, probably about 8? Maybe even 9?
This is not bad seeing as it is actually December.
Not looking good for snow at Xmas which is a Very Sad Thing.
Rain.
Rain is not good .
But can't complain when there is rain and 10 degrees.
Lordy Lordy , how our standards plummet....

xmas treats

 Every year we get this present from MOTHER.
It is amazing. Probably the best chocolates in the world.
So the the box has two of each chocolate, you can taste them then rate them on a scale of 1 to 10.
We choose not to share these chocolates with anybody else.
The Gorgeous Son and The New Girlfriend are coming up to ours on Saturday.
We are going to hide the chocolates.

always best not to start off rating too high...

Xmas jerseys

This is definitely a post for Cousin Jane.

Help.

Jersey, jumper , sweater, cardigan...
I ordered a sweater here, which to me would be like a jersey, but turned out to be a sweat shirt.
So a sweater is not a knitted thing, nor indeed is a jumper.
A jersey seems to be knitted.
I know  a cardigan has buttons...Even if it is not  knitted?
As far as I know, a jersey covers everything knitted, a sweater is knitted (apparently not)
 So , what is a jumper?  Is it knitted?

Great Aunt Faith asked , on her Xmas list , for  Totes.
I thought they may be some kind of bag. The Hubby thought they may  be something to do with horses ( makes sense)
Nope.
They are socks.
Who knew?
And , indeed, I have bought some.

On the label it says "Dozy  Totes"
Which to me seems like a pun on "maisey dotes and doesy dotes...
The song?
I think you have to be a Pom.

Even then it's a bit of a stretch.
Who knew shopping would be so hard?

Online shopping r us

How did I ever ever manage before online shopping?
It is wonderful and magical.
Want something? Type it into google.
Order it
Pay
Arrives within 3 days
Sometimes, arrives the next day.
My postman loves me. I am always so excited /grateful/impressed when he delivers  my orders.
He may just think I am a mad old bat. 
Especially when I answer the door with Mad People Hair.
But, still and all, Xmas is magical with online shopping! 

Coat Rack Emergency

Having never needed such an item before now, it's amazing how this has become an absolute necessity !
Last night, the coat rack broke.
With a resounding crack, spilling coats, scarves, umbrellas and hats all over the floor.
This, I may add, was not some cheap shit ikea rack, no indeed, this coat rack came from Dwell, and cost £150.
I bought it over 2 years ago, but when I phoned Dwell, no problem...no questions, no issues ( big applause to Dwell) replacement if I want it, or refund.
Sadly, the replacement only in February, due to the popular demand on these racks.
If only they knew.....
So, sadly, I have to go with a refund, and try to buy a new coat rack.
Easier said than done.
Spent all day online and in some stores (hate it when I actually have to GO to a shop...)
All to no avail.
For the minute, all the coats etc are now flung over the couch.
Charming.

You may wonder why a coat rack is so essential. I know that a Saffa may not understand this.

There is no cupboard space here. Also, it is a bloody pain to go up and down the stairs to get coats and jackets every day.
So, my coat rack stuff: blazer, for cooler days, leather jacket for slightly colder days, coat (2) for kak cold days.
Other coats are actually upstairs in the cupboard. We have many. It's a Pom thing.
Floofy snow jacket is still in the loft...it's not that cold yet.

The Hubby
2 very heavyweight jackets
Black full length coat.
Leather jacket

Also, of course, scarves  and umbrellas.

Actually, no wonder it broke.

Weather report

You may be wondering, seeing as I have not spoken about the weather  for some time...
Well, yes , it is cold.
This is , after all , Pom Land.
So, yes, it gets cold.
Get over it.
Wear warm clothes.
Fucking Hell.
How bad can it be?

Adjust.
That's what we have to do.
It's not that cold actually.
Stay in bed.
Put the heating on.
Don't be such a  baby.

Snow! Yay! I love it
#dont be such a sissy

Online shopping

Fabulous. Online shopping.

Never have to listen to stupid Xmas carols.
Amazon.com
And Firebox
And Iwoot

For the record, Firebox is way better than stupid Iwoot.

It is cold and dark.
Thanks to online shopping , I may never have to leave the house

Ha!

Xmas spirit

Today, in Tesco, there was a Santa wandering around the store WITHOUT HIS BEARD!
I told him to put his beard on as he was traumatising the children.
And me!
He chose to ignore this.
So I reported him to management who then crapped on him and told him when he was on the floor he had to wear his beard.
Well indeed!
And, anyway, he was over 6 foot tall and skinny as anything...how stupid is that?

I probably am getting no Xmas presents now.....

Xmas a coming...

When I went to Tesco today, I heard my first in-store Xmas song of the year.

Happily, it was neither "Mary's Boy Child" by Boney M , nor " Little Drummer Boy" By Katherine Kennicott Davis . (bet you didn't know that)

No, happily, it was  "Stop the Cavalry" by Jona Lewie.
This is a quite splendid and perfectly acceptable Xmas song, even though it was not intended to be a Xmas song, but indeed was written as a protest song. (bet you didn't know that either)

This happy mood was somewhat  ruined by the fact that I had forgotten my handbag and had to leave my shopping and go back home to fetch it.

On leaving the house I had put my house keys ( with my Tesco Card on the key ring, so that I could do a self scan shop) into my pocket, my coupons for the Alessi Cutlery Offer ( 5 coupons, save £30 on an Alessi place setting) got the car keys, had a mini crisis ( sunglasses or no sunglasses, slight glare left in the sky, but essentially dark already, maybe very light Ray Ban Black Lens?)
Which jacket? Cold, but not that cold...coat not necessary, but blazer may be too light?
Which pashmina...or maybe time for a scarf?

The Hubby was home early, so he asked for a kiss goodbye...
That's it!
Must be his fault.

Distracted me.

I think Dr  Lauren is right.
Time to get a job.

But, maybe it is too late?
I think the brain is beyond help now.

Rodriguez..A Legend in SA

If anyone had told the 14 year old Amiga Jane and myself  that when we were in our fifties we would be in London together at a concert with Sugarman...

Can you imagine?

The fact that we would ever be that old would have made us laugh until we peed.
The very thought of ever seeing our idol? Unimaginable!

The  thought of living in London?

Just as unimaginable, this was apartheid South Africa, we knew little of the outside world, and the fact ..Cold Fact.. that  "I Wonder"  actually had the word SEX in it, that was such rebellion for us.

Yet here we were, full circle , and we cried our way through the songs that were the soundtrack to our early adolescence.

And at the heartbreaking sadness of the Sugarman story.

Seeing him having to be led onto the stage  (glaucoma)  after living in obscurity, never knowing of his cult status in South Africa, not being able to see us standing up for him...this broke my heart. He had to wait until he was 70 to play the Royal Festival Hall?

The Saffas were fabulous...in every break between songs , someone would  shout out

" We love you Bru! "
"Cape Town loves you!"
"Jo'burg loves you!"

There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

"So, thanks for your time, and you can thank me for mine...and after that's said..forget it.."
That was his last song.
We cried.

They led him off the stage to a standing ovation. And many tears.

He came back out.
To even more cheers and tears , and sang Bob's "Like a Rolling Stone"

How does it feel 
To be on your own 
With no direction home 
Like a complete unknown 
Like a rolling stone.

Damn anosmia!

Most of the time I dont care that I can't smell anything. I am used to it now.

Sometimes , it is a blessing, like when I get the train from London to Cambridge , and the only seat is the one next to the toilets...
Sometimes it's hard , when the chicken looks a bit dodgy , one day out of date...
Don't want to poison The Hubby!
Glad we don't have a gas hob!
On the up side, anyone can fart next to me...no problem!

Phantom  smells are the worst. You would think that you would get a nice smell to compensate for this affliction, but ..no. I can't believe that with anosmia comes a phantom smell. You would think it was bad enough not to be able to smell anyway, but, no, let's make it worse.

So far , as my phantom smells go , I have had cigarette smoke.... Not as nice as you would imagine actually....
That lasted about  6 months ...
However, much nicer than the next phantom smell which was urine.. About 9 months...

Now I am stuck with the smell of old clothes.

This is not as bad as you would imagine, some people have petrol or sewerage as the
phantom smells.

I try to smell nice smells, I hug The Hubby and inhale as much as I can...lordy if I could just smell  anything!  I wear perfume ,...not for me anymore,
.

Amazingly, in my dreams ,sometimes , I can smell. I love those dreams,but they are few and far between.

Sometimes in the fabric softtener aisle  in Tesco, I can almost smell it!  I don't know if it is a remembered smell or an actual smell, but I like it anyway!

So, all my friends, don't ever take for granted your sense of smell.
Who ever knew this would be an issue?
Bloody hell.

Drying washing?

If anyone ever asks me what I miss about South Africa, truly, the one thing I miss is hanging out the washing. In real actual air.

I do have a washing line here, but it collapsed in a spectacular manner, the ground was too wet to sustain it.
This was never a problem in South Africa, not even in the Western Cape where it did rain for weeks on end...
Despite the fact that the odd Ha Di Da did crap on my washing..
.( a massive bird, for non Saffa readers,  big bird...green bird crap, )

It is pretty odd having to hang the washing all over the radiators and on clothes horses
So, this is my question to poms , who have more experience in these matters than me ( Cousin Jane, this is you)
Is it better to hang the washing over the radiators, or tumble dry ?
It seems to me that I can simultaneously warm the house and dry the washing? Or does the drying of the washing take away from the heating of the house?
The Hubby says that the evaporation...takes a lot of  energy...blah blah blah, stopped
 listening...
Sure he is right, he usually is.
Seems easier to tumble dry?

Manflu Day Three

The Hubby has made a remarkable recovery and gone to work today!
Lordy!

Birthday Boy

 Today is The Gorgeous Son's Birthday.

As he always points out to us, he was born exactly 9 months after Valentines Day.
How much more of a Love Baby could you ever be?

We are heading off to London this weekend , (The Hubby's Manflu notwithstanding) to go to a Medieval Banquet to celebrate this Birthday. We will be celebrating in grand style and full costume, along with The New Girlfriend (I have to stop calling her that, she is not so New anymore) and SA Sam.

Much as I rarely get sentimental on this Blog (Do I?), I must say that this boy has given us nothing but pleasure, love and laughs for the entire 27 years of his life.

So, Happy Birthday Darling Boy!

How much more fun could there be?

Manflu ...Day Two

Indeed, going to work was not an option for The Hubby today.

Apart from the fact that a cold does not feel good, it is never nice to infect the rest of the workforce.
The main problem with The Hubby is that he spent all his formative years in boarding school.
With Matron.

So, I have put my (always) freezing cold hands on his fevered brow.
I have administered the medication.
(maybe  overadministered, but I did need to study...)

I have run a bath with bubbles.

I made food, coffee, brought extra liquids,  floofed the pillow, tidied the bedside
table, I am not sure what other services Matron supplied...

I have been very sympathetic.
I don't actually feel so well myself.....

Tai Chi

MOTHER  has started a new activity.

This is the MOTHER whom Dr Lauren describes as a Medical Miracle.

MOTHER, despite Dr Lauren's best efforts, smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, does not eat her 5 a week, never mind her five a day, does no exercise and continues to defy all medical odds by seemingly never needing to visit a doctor , nor taking any medication.
It drives Dr Lauren insane

MOTHER is going to Tai Chi.

MOTHER has never taken any exercise in living memory, apart from a brief flirtation with badminton in Rhodesia, yes, when it was still Rhodesia.

That's how long ago it was.

So, the Tai Chi.

She is attending with her friends Charlotte , John and Clara.
Clara is John' s guide dog.
I truly want photographic evidence of this.
I know for a fact that Clara will out Tai Chi MOTHER.

You cannot make this up.

Manflu

Oh god help me, The Hubby has a cold.
It started this morning with meaningful sniffs and complaints about a sore throat, and culminated in a pathetic call from Tesco after work, asking me what he needed to buy for his Cold.
And where such items would be in Tesco.

This is what he came home with:

Halls extra strong
Lockets
Lemsip All In One
Night Nurse
Strepsils for sore throat and cough. This is a new strepsil, have never seen it before.

He does not actually have a cough (yet)

He had to lie and say they were not all for him to be able to purchase this over the regulated amount of paracetamol.

I have made him soup and toast, made the lemsip, and now am in bed while he is in his dressing gown(a sure sign of illness) watching tv and sniffing.

Day one.

Movies..Be part of it!

http://www.startme.co.za/groups/projects/film/there-will-be-blood

Can you imagine making your own movie?
Got to be the most fun ever.
Not so easy though, seeing as it costs money...
So, Dear Friend Desmond is making a movie...here's your chance, add a bit of funding and you can be in the credits.
And we all know how important the credits are, The Hubby and Darling Simon make Dr Lauren and me stay behind at every movie until the last name has scrolled up...
Took forever with Skyfall...
A B movie is great fun , and when have you ever had the chance to be part of a movie?
Come on all my faithful bloggers...let's support a great Saffa project!

Like Button

After much fucking and farting around, and being married to a computer genius, yes, Margie and Zelda.. I now have a Like Button!!!

http://www.justgiving.com/Susan-Hewlett?fb_action_ids=10152230391615251&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=fundraising-page-new&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%2210152230391615251%22%3A281180562002998%7D&action_type_map=%7B%2210152230391615251%22%3A%22og.likes%22%7D&action_ref_map=%7B%2210152230391615251%22%3A%22fundraising-page-new%22%7D

Movember is a really good cause.
The Hubby is growing a Mo.
He has decided to grow a "Horse  Shoe Mo"
He is so not keeping it.

This is why I have started the Just Giving Page for us women to ensure that the Mo gets Mowed.
I can see that The Hubby is getting a bit too attached to the Mo.
I will happily pay at least £20 ...in fact, I will probably go to ten times that if necessary to get rid of it.
The Gorgeous Son stopped growing a Mo because it made him sneeze(?)
He is so donating on my site.
The Famous Brother has been a bit silent on the Mo Front, sister in law had better
donate big time....

Saffas seem to be a bit scared of the Just Giving Site.
Don't be afraid! It works in Rands as well.

Having lost my dearest friend to cancer, I am in future going to do whatever I can for cancer research, whatever type of cancer it may be....please join me in this my blogger friends! 

Sadly, when applying lipstick, I noticed that I could be a contender in the Mo stakes...
Doesn't count! 

Magic moment

Magic moment indeed in reading group today.

We have a young Chinese Woman in our Reading Group.

This is the story she told today.

" When I was a teenager, I read Jane Eyre , in Chinese, and was fascinated by her description of a tree with red berries on it.
It was an amazing thing to me, and I wondered what such a tree would look like.

Many years later when I came to live in the UK, arriving in Belfast, I saw such a tree with red berries , it was the happiest moment of my life.

Jane Eyre is still my favourite book. I would love to read it in English, and , now I can try"

She is lovely .

I am spending all my days at the minute learning to Teach English As A Foreign
 Language .
It is really hard. 
And yet, here is she, with a knowledge of English literature, having read a classic, and me, trying to teach my own fecking language to people who probably appreciate it more than I do, as I curse the Second Conditional Past Simple.....

Day out in Cherry Hinton

This was my day.

In the Post Office , the guy in front of me.
"If you need a lawyer, or a psychiatrist, or a dog handler....just give me a call."
He then did a little frog jump up the queue.

Crossing the road, man doing mad dance next to me.

" I can do The  River Dance " says he .
"Are you Irish? " I asked
"You don't have to be Irish to do The River Dance" says he as he danced across the road.

In the charity shop, where they had a special, 4 books for £1...the lady behind the counter was singing..." We buy any car dot com! we buy any car dot  com!"

Across the road, the Plymouth Brethren were shouting their doctrine.

I just went home and finished the ironing.
Is always best not to spend too much time in Cherry Hinton High Street.

Family Outings

Amazing.

When the children were teenagers, a Family Outing was a Very Bad Thing.
They hated it.
Especially The Gorgeous Son.
 Dr Lauren was more accommodating.
 Eldest Daughter also hated Family Outings to the nth degree.

Suddenly....The Gorgeous Son INSISTS on Family Outings.

Maybe he sees it as a way to entertain the aged parents.... but no... actually not, he really loves our  outings.
And we have such fun!
And The Hubby and I take it to the limit...if we are in the car, we keep saying "Are we there yet?"
I always need to pee, have coffee, need water...
Revenge is sweet!

Daylight Saving Thing

It has taken me nearly 4 years, but eventually, I have got it.
The New Girlfriend said to me "Spring Forward, Fall Backwards"
So, I get that part of it.
Since the change, I no longer have to put the light on in the morning to make coffee.
So, that is good. I like it.

It is pitch dark at 5 o clock, not so good.
But , for the first time, does make sense.
 It is better to have more day.
 Then go to bed at 7 o clock.
Works for me!

Certifiably Mad

Must be me... there must be a Pom way of saying this that I am not privy to.

In South Africa, if you need a certified copy of a document, you just take it to the police station, and anyone on duty can stamp and certify it for you...for free.

Here! Bloody Hell, what a palaver. First of all, nobody knows what I am talking about.

Google says  Phone your Library.

Library has no idea.

After a day, they called me back to say that the Bank, the Doctor or the Post Office can perform this service.

The Bank, The Doctor, and The Post Office have never heard of this and were most intrigued.


I phoned the Local Lawyers.
Slightly Dof Person answered the phone with a vague   "Hello?"
I asked if this was the number for the attorneys.
There are no attorneys here..they are SOLICITORS. He told me this in no uncertain terms.

So, not a great start.

After much explanation, he eventually grasped what I meant. (I hope)
And he will indeed provide me with a certified copy, for £15.
When I protested at this horrendous price, he told me it was really a bargain, and indeed, he is quite right, on further investigation, this could cost me upwards of £50.
Indeed, this seems to be such an unusual transaction that the dof SOLICITOR person is actually coming to my house to perform this unheard of transaction.

Anyone coming over to live in the UK from SA...go to the police station and have everything you own certified!

So , tomorrow, there is a person I do not know, coming to perform a service not heard of in the UK , at my house.
If you never hear from me again...please investigate my disappearance....

Autumn Leaves

leaves that fall every day...

leaves still left to fall...


And the lawn is an absolute nightmare, when I rake the leaves up, the moss that is the lawn all rakes up and leaves big patches that look like a badger has dug them up...I did tell the landlord that his lawn is crap and will all disappear in the new year, but he seems to be not so concerned. Fine. I will move out and he will have a crap tenant who doesn't care....

Amazing library

 I am kak impressed.
I was impressed before, seeing as I can renew my books online, reserve books online, check in and out at an amazing (to me) computer that checks the books in and out...but wait!
 You will not believe.
Now, I can, for no extra charge whatsoever, download e books to my iPad via the library.
E books, and audio books.
I actually may never ever have to buy a book again
So, I have 3 audio books downloaded...great for ironing And bedtime stories..and 5 books on my iPad
Which I can keep for 21 days.

I can get as many books as I like.
Well, let me tell you, this is just heaven .

I love technology

Atlas Shrugged

Well, not much shocks me, but I am indeed shocked.

Atlas Shrugged PART TWO?

And indeed, yes there is this movie...following on from Atlas Shrugged Part 1 !
Filmed last year, that I knew nothing about, and indeed , horror of horrors...Atlas Shrugged Part 3 to follow.

How has this happened without my knowledge?

And what do I do?
Do I watch it?

Well I am totally confused.

Imagine that you are a christian, and suddenly there is a movie, the bible, part 2!
What to do...what to do....

Once I had got over the shock, I realised that the book has been split into three parts...ok...
Phew!

Odd Signs Again..

Absolutely no idea what to do with this?
Parking area in Suffolk or Norfolk or one of those folk areas...

One more thing...

Just one more thing until I go back to blogging again...

Years ago, someone told me that you should view your life thus.
Taking the average lifespan as 70, your life could be viewed as days of the week. Each day , a decade.

This would take me to Friday morning.

Wednesday suddenly seems like the best day of the week.

With life expectancy the way it is now, I will add a bank holiday onto the week.

The weekend does go by so fast.
To all the Wednesday people...slow down..enjoy it...Friday comes very quickly.

Life is Life

I have not blogged for a while.
The Hubby and I , and indeed , our entire family has been in mourning, our very very dearest friend has died.
So, I couldn't blog because I was too upset to blog, and althought I wanted to say something about this experience, I couldn't.
I couldn't blog about the death, because it was just too hard.
I couldn't blog about anything else because everything else seemed just too trivial in comparison.

But, if we learn nothing else, we learn that life goes on, as much as we would love to "Stop the Clocks" , nope, we can't.

I have realised that I am not at all afraid of death.
I have seen how it works, and apart from anything else, as an atheist, I have no fear of being judged and then either punished or rewarded accordingly.
Don't have to worry about purgatory.
I don't have to worry about being reincarnated as an earwig.


The part of death I don't like, is the people that I love who may die.
I know they will be sad if I die , but I won't know anything about it.
But I cannot envisage my life without The Hubby.

So, I am just going to ignore all this, and Keep Calm and Carry on, as the Poms  say.

Normal Blogging Service will resume shortly.

Housework

Being, as I am, in a delicate post op state, lugging around vacuum cleaners and buckets of water is  not recommended. Somebody has to do this. It turns out that somebody is not going to be The Hubby.
For the first time since my broken ankle, I have a maid.
His name is Pete.
He is a dab hand with the Dyson.
He doesn't do ironing, but does do windows.

I think I shall ask him if he will come back tomorrow  and mow the lawn.

Hospitality

On the hottest day of the year, indeed, the hottest weekend, glorious sunshine outside, me, inside in Hospital.
This was an operation for which I have been on a waiting list for four months,
suffice to say it is a procedure that you would not be having if you were a man.

As I have come to expect, the NHS were fantastic.

Because they care so much about my recovery, they sent me home (after a scant 36 hours) with thigh high anti thrombosis stockings (in this heat!) and syringes with which to inject myself in the stomach every day for a week.

My experience with injections has so far been the annual injection of olive oil into the Xmas turkey.

In an amazing gesture of marital solidarity, considering his needle phobia, The Hubby was by my side for the first injection. He went very pale and had to go and have a sit down afterwards. I am sparing him further interaction.

My method is to say  "1 2 3 ...Go! " about 6 times before actually performing the operation.
For anyone else who may be attempting this procedure, it is better to do it standing up rather than lying down.
I am doing something wrong as I have bruises at the site of each injection.
Dr Lauren finds this amusing. When I pointed out to her that it is not nice to laugh at your patients, she pointed out to me that I am her mother. Fair enough.

Nonetheless, I forgive her for this lack of sympathy , as I was afforded special treatment in hospital due to the fact that my daughter is a doctor. Especially by the other Foundation Doctors with whom I sympathised, knowing how hard they have to work and how difficult it is.
One Foundation Doctor almost started crying as she told me how exhausted she is doing this with two small children . I felt even more sorry for after there was a screw up with my discharge from the hospital and I had to leave without my meds, and they all blamed "The Junior Doctor".

Health and Safety has to be adhered to, so I have one of these...

In a country where they will not sell you 2 products over the counter if they both contain paracetamol, it is amazing that they give needles to a totally unqualified person. (me) and trust me to dispose of them responsibly.
Well, of course I will.
There is no recycling bin in my house for this, I have to zip it back into its handy carry case and take it to my GP.
Lordy!

Weather Update

I have not posted a weather update since June...

Remarkably restrained of me , seeing as the weather has been properly crap.
This is apparently the worst summer in living memory (or so the locals say)

Indeed, it has rained and rained and rained....reminds  me of the Cape, its not just England that has the rain.
Once, in the Cape, during one of MOTHER's visits, it rained for 6 weeks.
Now, that was hell.

But, yes, it has been a bit bloody unrelenting here this year.
Nonetheless, there have been sunny spots.
The Olympics had great weather on the day we were there.
And last Thursday. And this week Monday.

I find myself usually very forgiving of the bad weather when a good day comes along.
Today is not one of those days.

Scan & Shop

This may be old hat to some of my blog readers, but for an ex Saffa, it is like magic.
So, on entering the supermarket, I scan my Tesco Card at the scanning station, take my own hand held scanner, scan my items, pack them into my own shopping bags, return to the station, scan the scanner, pay at the machine, and all done.
Amazing.

Online shopping is still the best, but this is fun!

(... the novelty may wear off )

Olympic Fever

I cannot begin to describe how wonderful my Olympic Experience was.

It is truly a Bucket List thing.

The Poms have got to be the most amazingly organised people in the entire world.

I hope everyone apologizes to Boris, whom they criticized daily on the run up to the Olympics, and who actually did a fantastic job.
Everything was so incredible that it is hard to single out the best bits.

I bought a British Team GB flag , which I wore.
This was  odd for me.
I felt a bit disloyal to SA, and felt that I should be wearing a SA flag.
I had to take a moment and justify it to myself, the fact that I was actually born here and now live here.
Still, although I felt very proud of being a Pom, at the same time I felt a bit uncomfortable.
Obviously the process is taking longer than I thought.

This Olympic weekend though, has truly been one of the highlights of my life.
I will probably bore my grandchildren with the story.
Of course it would be a lot more impressive if I could say that Grandma was taking part in the Olympics, rather than just going to see the high diving semi finals.
But we can't all be Jennifer Ennis's grandma.

There was the largest Mc Donalds in the world in the park.
We decided to go for the Seafood and Champagne option.
So much healthier
So much more expensive..
Saffas, read no further!

We didn't have this...and we actually had a very nice South African Chenin  Blanc for only £5.95 a glass.

 Everyone was so nice and sweet and helpful...even the bobbies took the time to take pics when asked!

I was sad to see it all over, then I remembered the paralympics!
Yes!
Applying for tickets straight away!

Rubbish

Every Monday at 6pm, my phone alarm goes off, prompting mass panic.
Rubbish Day!
Incidentally, the Poms do not call it Rubbish Day, rubbish is used as an adjective here, not a noun.
They call it Bin Day, or Recycling Day.
So, the alarm goes off, then it is " Which Rubbish Day is it? Is it Black  Bin day, which means I must empty the Red Bin and the White Bin into the Black Bin, or Blue and Green Bin Rubbish Day which means I must empty the Green  Inside  Bin and the Kitchen Caddy Bin into the Blue and Green Bins respectively?
I have a wheelie bin service now that cleans my bins for £30 quarterly.
There is something oddly satisfying about having clean bins.

These are the days of my life!
But, not all Rubbish.

On Friday we are heading off to London town to attend the Olympics!
Very very exciting.
We have been watching a LOT of  TV .
There are 25 dedicated channels for Olympics.
Darling  Simon has a 3D TV  , what a thing it is indeed, to see the games in 3D!
I was quite blown away. Swimming events in 3D are amazing.

The Hubby and I have very different tastes when it comes to Olympic events.
Who knew he was so interested in weightlifting?
Laughed to myself all day after seeing a weightlifting event that I thought was the men's but was actually the ladies?
I have no interest in hockey, was traumatised at school by being made to weed the hockey field as punishment for anything .
Loving the running and the jumping.
Have missed all my usual TV viewing. Thank goodness for catch up TV.

Cherry Hinton Folk Festival

Mr Fox, 20 foot high, wonderful!

How wonderful! My very first outdoor festival .

(slightly too young for Woodstock, slightly too old for Glastonbury)

Such fun though!
Loreena Mc Kennitt was amazing.

My children call it  " Mummy's Flutes in the Forest Music" .
This encompasses  all the music I like , from Loreena to Blackmore nights and even extending to Jethro Tull. (Heavy Horses)

Nonetheless, this was fantastic. Actually got to meet Loreena.

Told The Hubby to be on the ready to take millions of photographs.
Not so much.
Suddenly he was a massive fan, shook hands, said lovely things to Loreena and handed the camera to designated dof person who recorded my big moment with Loreena with a shot of me looking like a total tit.

Angelique Kidjo was amazing, as was Joan Armatrading, Kan, and all the acts we managed to see...
Angelique performed some Miriam Makeba music...was something else!

And then down came the rain.
And hail.
And thunder.
Was hysterically funny as the Poms shrieked every time there was a wee thunder roll.
There were about 1000 of us squished into the Crabbies tent (alcoholic Ginger Beer ).
The Hubby and I laughed every time anyone screamed.

Fab Pom person started a singalong


We had, admittedly, and uninformadably drank a pint of cider each.

I said to the cider person, "How much is a pint?"
 She said £3.
I actually meant "How much is a pint?
It is almost a liter
The Hubby should have known better.
We were somewhat trashed for about an hour.

Still and all, I have learned many lessons:

Do not think the weather will be fine even if it is so wonderful when you leave the house that you apply sunscreen.

Take Wellies to a music festival. You will need them at some stage.

Don't laugh at the Poms. They understand the rain. They know how to have fun and come prepared. You as non Poms know nothing.

Rain and Hail!

Lovely Mud!

Oh Loreena I love you!

Poor shoes, OK, now I understand the Wellie thing!

Olympomania ...Zoink!

I do love Boris, he couldn't have put it better!

And Olympomania indeed it is, we watched the opening ceremony and ended up feeling very patriotic and Pom Like.

Admit I was a bit worried at the start as to how they were going to sustain the green and pleasant land bit for three hours, and did announce to The Hubby that if Morris Dancing started I was going upstairs for a bath...but, suddenly,  ZOINK! Fabulous! Loved it all.


The TV coverage is amazing and I am holding out some hope that Team GB is going to get a gold sometime soon...the Saffas have one...

On the 11th we are off to see the diving semi finals, so very excited.
May indeed be a cheaper event than I thought seeing as due to an architectural design problem only just discovered, our view may be somewhat obscured by the curve of the ceiling.
Already we have been offered the following:

Full money back
Partial money back if we are not happy
Less money back if we are somewhat happy.

PRICELESS!

I am happy enough just to be at the Olympic Stadium, have the whole experience, wear the T shirt....

How much can you not see in High Diving?
Zoink!

Get Down on it...

The Hubby went to a company function this week.
No wives or partners, fine, I don't mind...company bonding and all that.
The venue was amazing, Newmarket Racecourse, Premier Lounge, coach to take them there and back, woo hoo!
Now, over the last 6 weeks, there has been a choice of artists to see at these Very Prestigious Events.
 These were the choices.
 Tom Jones.
 Madness
 Van Morrison
 Jessie J
 Or, indeed, the event The Hubby went to....
 Kool and the Gang
 Get Down on it....
Celebrate!

Happy Birthday Madiba

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGS7SpI7obY


 I have so little to say, having grown up under the apartheid regime.
 State controlled media , no TV until 1976, no idea how the rest of the world worked.
No access to any books or magazines that would "pervert " us.
 Being taught that Madiba was a terrorist, never being able to see what he looked like when he was a banned person, never saw an image of him or heard his voice until the late 80's.
 Unbelievable, I know, but that's the way it was.
 What were our parents thinking ? And the nuns at our school?
 We taught our children differently, hard as it was in those days. Imagine living in the Free State and allowing your children to have black friends? Bloody hell.

 When I say Happy Birthday Madiba, I mean it with all my heart.

Like a virgin...

Not so many firsts when you get to my age, but today, for the first time ever, I put petrol in the car!
May not seem like a big deal to most people..
The Hubby  (and Dr Lauren ) said  " Don't put diesel in!!"
Well, yes , duh!
Problem was, when I went to Sainsburys  petrol station, it said  Citi Diesel.
On all the 20 pumps.
Who knew that 'Citi' was petrol?
Other than that wee problem, all went well and for the first time ever I put petrol in a car!
Absolute doddle.
Ha!

Soup of The Day

Very interesting soup that I bought for The Hubby. Myself, am not fond of tomato soup.
This soup indeed, does contain 1% vodka. This amazed me as it did not come with a warning and did not set off the 'alcohol, glue, paracetamol,sharp objects ' alarm at the till.

Tesco has missed the trick on this one, children all over the country are going to be able to buy this soup and get trashed with no heath and safety checks.
 (still, does say that this soup equals 1 of your 5 a day)

I am actually going to bring it to their notice.
The reason I am going to do this is because of their dof alcohol restraints.
If I buy alcohol and the person on the till is under 18, they have to call a supervisor to approve the sale!!
Never mind that I am obviously over the age to be allowed to buy alcohol...the first time this happened , I was quite flattered...an ACTUAL ALARM goes off!
But, no, sadly, not for me, for the sweet 17 year old till operator who needs permission to sell me a bottle of brandy!
Hee Hee , they are mad!

Call me maybe...

definitely sign of the week! 

Hilti

This is a Hilti.
Unknown in the UK.
A device that is as cheap as chips (as they say here) for knocking nails into the wall with no mess, no fuss.
This Hilti was brought over for me by The Famous Brother seeing as I left/sold my hilti before I came here , thinking that it would be a stock item.
Well, not so much.
The Hilti as I know it has never been on sale in the UK.
Nobody knows why.
And god knows they need it here as the walls are not real walls, they are all cardboard.
When I first went into our local hardware shop, Jewsons (?) they got all excited, as the hilti stuff here is SERIOUS hardware that starts at about £4000.
They had never heard of the wee hilti nail knocker inner.
I lost my hilti for two weeks and have been searching madly for it.
Looked everywhere, and , believe me, in these small Pom  houses, everything has a place. I usually know where everything is down to the last pin.

My problem was  (stupid me)I was looking for a RED Hilti, and the one The Famous Brother brought was a GREY hilti. They obviously changed the colour since I left, or The Famous Brother got me a knock off. Hmm...

Bit like a Hidden Object game.
Anyway, found it today, and in three seconds put all the pictures up in the spare room.
Easy Peasy.

Pom products

My patriotic duty to buy these eggs

Amazing tomato!

Ha Ha Ha !
Had to buy them seeing as I didn't have my camera, then I had to eat them.

Gardening Disaster

Who knew?
The lovely plants that I have been encouraging...the looky likey  periwinkles, the  surely maybe are hollyhocks, the viola looking things... nope,they are none of the above, they are all WEEDS!
How would I have  known?
 Hedgerow Plants is what I have called them the last two days...
But actually weeds.
Am going to have to pull them all out and start again.
This is VERY upsetting.
The Hubby thinks this is very funny.
Maybe I will leave him and go and live in a country where I know what weeds  actually look like and he can stay here and do the fecking gardening seeing as he did live here till he was 26 and has an Oxford degree and I left here when I was three and  had no idea about plants apart from Bill and Ben  The Flowerpot Men and Little Weed?

50 SHADES OF GREY

When everyone on the tube/train/bus/ waiting room is reading it, when it has outsold Harry Potter, when it is on sale in Tesco on 2 for one, well, you just have to give it a try?
The genre is called clit  lit  , which amuses me no end.
Husbands all over the world already hate Christian Grey , who is Rich, Sexy, Vulnerable, Kinky, Dominating, Handsome, has a Jet, Yacht, Helicopter, R8...

I know The Hubby hates the very mention of him...
Hee Hee

All the podcasts are talking about it, all the TV shows..
Porn has never been so out there for women..
Have no idea how I feel about this.

Lindsay Loo was somewhat shocked when I gave my copy to Dr Lauren.

You really have to give it a try..literature it is not..amusing and somewhat  fascinating...

Sometimes you just have to say WTF?

Soccer soccer football football

How much longer can it go on?? I have been a fecking SAINT let me tell you. Just wait...Wimbledon starts on monday... There will be NO MORE soccer from then on. And Wayne Rooney is Very Ugly

Health and Safety

Do Not use a weed eater / strimmer without the safety guard. (couldn't figure out the instructions and was impatient to get the weed eating done before it rained again)

Do Not weed eat/ strim without wearing wellington boots.

Luckily I was wearing my largest sunglasses, in this case , safety goggles.

Weedeaters/ strimmers are dangerous things.
 Fuckers whip their cords around your lower legs without warning.

Do not get overenthusiastic about gardening just because the sun is out for more than three hours.

Still and all, apart from that bloody moss, the garden is looking better.
Apart from all the blood on the lawn......

Hat Attack

This is my floofy winter hat. Now that it is summer...well, summer, ha ha ha ,  now that we are in double digits, I no longer need this hat to be hanging on the hat stand. I decided to take our leather jackets, The Hubby's winter parka, and my hat up to the loft.
The loft is accessed by a pull down ladder.
To facilitate things, I put my floofy hat on my head .

Shortly after this, the man who delivers our fish arrived.
It was earlyish, and I was still in my dressing gown and bare feet , for which I apologised.
'Don't worry love' said he, gallantly
'You look lovely'

Half an hour later I went up to the bedroom, caught sight of myself in the mirror... yes, I still was wearing the hat.

Mrs Balls...

Pick 'n Pay

Mrs H.s.ball's Original Recipe Chutney 4...

R 18.49

                                                         Sainsburys

£1.69/unit
£0.36/100g  Mrs Balls Original Chutney 470g

                                                                        Savanna SA Shop

Mrs Balls Chutney Original

Price: £2.59

Product image	Product name	Price

Signs...of Madness??

This was spotted on our drive up to Suffolk  , we had to stop in this narrowest of narrow country lanes to take a pic!

Weather again (sorry)

Woke up this morning and said to The Hubby   "Look it's summer! Sunshine!"

"No" he replied  "That is not sun, it's just daylight"
Sadly, he was right.
Anyone who watched the Jubilee Celebrations will see that summer is not upon us.
As I am typing this, it is 11C and raining.
Tomorrow doesn't look so great either.
But, let's look on the bright side, apparently if it continues to rain like this until December, the drought will be over!
Yay!

Jubilation

Always, in South Africa, the discussion ran on the lines of when would the Queen give up already and let Charles, or even William , be King?

It was never more obvious than over this Jubilee Celebration , that the answer is never.

The Queen took a Solemn and Holy Vow, she will be Queen until she dies.
And to see her over this holiday, the unshaken belief she has that this is her absolute duty, sanctioned by God, is unmistakable.

Of course, 2 posts ago I did say summer was here, so what do I know? She may just say 'Fuck It' tomorrow morning , stay in bed and let Charles take over....

I have , though , never seen anything as amazing as the show put on over this long Bank Holiday weekend. The Poms do this kind of thing better than anyone else .
At the end of that magnificent concert, when 100 000 people sang God Save The Queen, I was 'totes emosh' (as the Essex Girls say)
A tearful rendition of the National Anthem was delivered by me, towards the Queen on the TV
(standing, of course, couldn't help myself)

Note: Must learn that bloody second verse!

The nation held its breath when Sir Elton sat down at the piano...would he play Candle in the Wind? Can you just imagine?

Those who thought Grace Jones and Stevie Wonder were mad and/or drunk, may not have realised that the same day of the concert was actually the Queen's official birthday.

Lenny Henry has given his last performance ever I think, after that cringeworthy appearance, but Gary Barlow is up for a knighthood for sure!
Loved it  (even the bad bits)
Was a very Proud Pom.

Thank goodness we can get back to normal now, oh, no, forgot..it's the Olympics...

Not just a pretty face

http://www.facebook.com/groups/391088334265679/

Online Shopping

You would think that I would learn, but no...
Today received 18 litres of water....
Also three packets of exotic mushrooms, but that is fine..will make exotic mushroom risotto for supper...

Hot Hot Hot now...summer is here indeed.

Had to take the New Car back to The Shop to fix the aircon.
Very nice people at the Merc Dealers.
Realised that the Poms don't say Merc.
All laughed at me,
Is fine, I am used to that now...

John Irving

ISN'T HE LOVELY?

What a pleasure to see and hear John Irving, he is my hero!
Went to the Shaw Theatre with Dr Lauren to see him. He was interviewed  by  John Boyne  (Boy in The Striped Pyjamas)...but I was so overwhelmed by John Irving that I had no idea who John Boyne was..
So sorry  John Boyne, do love your books, but you cannot compete...
What a wonderful experience. Amazing person.  Wow.
I am so happy. My life is complete.

Jubilee

Goodness, this Jubilee is quite a thing.
I do feel quite patriotic, and indeed will buy bunting, a jubilee outfit (will post pics) and am indeed going to a street party.
The whole royalist thing is very odd.
I happily sing "I vow to thee my country" and feel like a real Pom.
And then I think that they are all as mad as hatters.
Go figure