houses

I have discovered that it's not just the estate agents I hate. I also hate the conveyancers, the survey people and the mortgage broker.
Unfortunately, if I want this house purchase to go through, I have to be nice to all of them.
I am wondering what it would take to actually get everyone to get their arses into gear.

There appears to be a bloody survey for everything and they all cost me money.
A survey to investigate the likelihood of a flood in the next 100 years
A survey to find out if there is going to be a highway through your property
A survey to investigate what your neighbors are planning
A survey to find out if any factories in the area produce materials which may have a detrimental affect on the environment, thus reducing the value of the property.

And...worst of all, I have to pay for the upkeep of some bloody falling down ancient church.
Me! An Atheist...paying for a flipping church!
I am taking out a Chancel Policy to protect me for being slapped with a bill for a new church roof.
And Oh yes! This has happened ...hence the existence of the aforementioned policy
Can you believe this stuff??