Rules for bikes

Things not to do on your bike.


 Look at your watch
 Wave at the postman
Try to adjust your scarf
Have too much shopping in your basket
 Overconfidence at returning to your home driveway , resulting in crashing into the wheelie bins. 

I have not fallen off yet, but it has been a close run thing.

 DANGERS:

 Pedestrians with iPods
 Children on bikes
Bollards
 Roadworks
 Older people who suddenly make sweeping gestures with their arms
 Dogs
 Birds
Dog poo
Ice patches
Buggies (prams for the Saffas)
 Bus stops (suddenly the cycle track disappears )
Cold wind freezing your fingers
The fact that you are actually not that fit and are knackered after a ten minute cycle to the library

 Fashion alerts

 I could have bought a "hair met" which was specially designed for men who gel their hair But no need actually seeing as my hair is kak anyway, thank you Jamie for the kak haircut that cost me fifty quid.

 Sunglasses, as always, am the only person in the UK wearing them, but on a bike, it stops your eyes watering from the cold.

 Big warm puffa jacket that makes you look like a womble on a bike.

 This bike thing is more complicated than I thought.