Anyone who knows me would be amazed at how nice I am being.
I wave motorists ahead of me, I let people in the queue ahead of me, I held a screaming baby so his mother could unpack her groceries, I unpacked a trolley for a really pregnant lady, I all but saved an elderly lady's LIFE for fuck's sake. ( OK I just fanned her lightly and told her my daughter was a doctor...but it worked! She felt better! )
I gave my leftover Pyrex Dishes Coupons to a woman in Tesco, I smile and say Hello to everyone , and STILL nobody will be my friend. Or even smile and be pleasant.
Well, let me tell you Cambridge, this is your last chance.
Tomorrow I am going to a fancy tea party at a fancy hotel with a fancy guest speaker, hosted by a fancy Cambridge Blogger.
I will wear my best outfit (with a hat) and be VERY nice to everybody.
Admittedly, the last time I wanted to attend a tea party hosted by this very same person, it proved to be impossible due to the fact that I had just moved up to Cambridge from London and did not have a car, and due to the provincial nature of Cambridge it was impossible for me to attend without paying about £40 for a taxi.
I did blog something along the lines of Fuck These Village People.
Still, forgive and forget....
We shall see.
I will report back.
I wave motorists ahead of me, I let people in the queue ahead of me, I held a screaming baby so his mother could unpack her groceries, I unpacked a trolley for a really pregnant lady, I all but saved an elderly lady's LIFE for fuck's sake. ( OK I just fanned her lightly and told her my daughter was a doctor...but it worked! She felt better! )
I gave my leftover Pyrex Dishes Coupons to a woman in Tesco, I smile and say Hello to everyone , and STILL nobody will be my friend. Or even smile and be pleasant.
Well, let me tell you Cambridge, this is your last chance.
Tomorrow I am going to a fancy tea party at a fancy hotel with a fancy guest speaker, hosted by a fancy Cambridge Blogger.
I will wear my best outfit (with a hat) and be VERY nice to everybody.
Admittedly, the last time I wanted to attend a tea party hosted by this very same person, it proved to be impossible due to the fact that I had just moved up to Cambridge from London and did not have a car, and due to the provincial nature of Cambridge it was impossible for me to attend without paying about £40 for a taxi.
I did blog something along the lines of Fuck These Village People.
Still, forgive and forget....
We shall see.
I will report back.
No comments:
Post a Comment