Monday, March 28, 2011

Old Age

Old age is not for sissies. That's what people say. Well, let me tell you, it is also not for me.
Nope.
Having this fecking broken ankle has not taught me a respect for people with disabilities or the aged and infirm...it has instead instilled an absolute overwhelming fear of getting old.
I know what it is like to be thirsty and not be able to get your own drink, hungry and not be able to cook, hearing the phone or the doorbell and knowing there is no way in hell you are going to get there in time.
It took a day or two after the break for me to stop dreaming of walking and dream of being on my crutches. Now, in my dreams I am walking again.
I cannot walk like that anymore. Not yet anyway. I know that I will be able to again,(it's only a broken ankle after all!) but if that's what old age is like - dreaming about the things you used to be able to do, I can see it is going to be a Very Unpleasant Thing
My children will have to visit to "See if I am OK" Or pay a carer to do it for them.
My grandchildren will beg not to have to visit me , because, believe me, I am going to be one miserable fucker of an old person.

So, I do not want to live to be 93 like The Aged Grandparents. I do not even want to be 83 and quite frankly, 73 is not looking so great either.
Every time I see a Poor Old Duck in the High Street, toddling along with her zimmer frame and her shopping, my blood runs cold.
Am I feeling sorry for myself? Hell yes!
The way I feel at the minute I am booking a ticket for Switzerland for my 60th.

1 comment:

  1. Ah, How with you I am on this. How did our paretns cope without the internet. At least we can still walk withou fingers and skype and stuff. I also think I will be unplayable as a really old person, but I am sure G-d will remove me before that happens. I hope so anyway. Every time I have blood tests done I expect to be told something unplasant - but so far I have nothing to worry about - except my bones - and they speak of wheel chairs or not moving about much and having Rosy full time and and ... How sexy is one in this state? All one can hope for is that one gets into a ward with other like ourselves so we can smoke weed if we can get someone to smuggle us any and drive the nurses crazy ... but, who's going to be that lucky? They will stay be saying you cant have weed, its addictive ... or some coot will be doing us with lsd to see how far we can remotely see backwards. Never mind kiddo - you are too interesting to be a pain... every one will love you always. Happy day now.

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